Saturday, April 01, 2006

Wheelie Good News

Time to announce the winner of the Eastcliff Richard Competition To Find Something To Do With Dreamland, and, well, frankly I'm disappointed. Some of the more promising entries were:

- Arsonworld
- Thorleyworld
- Hamster Juggling
- The 'You Looking At Me Or What?' Hall of Mirrors
- Synchronised Pocket Billiards (local constabulary)
- Guff Lighting Displays on the beach opposite.

But really, as for the rest, what a sorry lot you all are.

After consulting with Elton, we have decided to award the prize of the Eastcliff Richard Memorial Gold Barker's Nest to One-Eyed Pete, the man who is single-handedly revitalising the Dreamland site, for his brave attempt at combining local authority policy with a mass visitor attraction. From One-Eyed Pete's new 148ft 'Big Wheelie Bin', crammed in the hole on the promenade where the last attraction burnt down, amazed visitors will be able to spy:

- Ye Turdy Rock (natural coastal formation)
- Birchington World of Crime
- Anthea Turner Centre (car park only).

Pete, known by his carny friends as 'Rusty Nuts' (presumably from his ginger demean), promises even more spectacular rides in the near future. Good luck with the 'Big Wheelie', and God bless/help all who sail in her.


Lucy Mail said...

Is it too late to get an entry in?
Apartment World strikes me as a spiffing idea. They could have open days and make a show flat out of the one that went least wrong, stuff like that.
I always find it most entertaining to see just how small they can make rooms these days without them gaining the official title of 'cupboard'!
"Don't worry", they'll say "Everyone will be allocated an off-street parking space, so the streets won't be getting an extra four thousand cars to decorate them."
I think these developers seriously believe that they are the only ones that can afford two or more cars.
Hours of cheap entertainment to be had!!!

Eastcliff Richard said...

Dear Lucy,

Many thanks for your entry, but I'm afraid the competition is now closed.

However, I'm sure I'll be running it again next year (and the next, and the next etc etc ad inf.), so do have a go then.

Best wishes,

Eastcliff Richard

Lucy Mail said...

Not to worry. I'll settle for the plain old brown barkers nest.
Maybe go for gold next year.
Is it just me or does 'go for gold' sound like a superb name for a gameshow?