Sunday, April 23, 2006

Nest Building

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm seriously thinking of calling Gullbusters.

As I may have mentioned before, the seagulls here on Ramsgate's newly fashionable East Cliff have bloated up to the size of standard poodles, now that they've discovered the feast of leftover smoked salmon and caviar to be had by clawing their way into the bin bags deposited on the pavements every Thursday morning.

And now it's the mating season, their taste in nesting material appears to have gone upmarket too.

Puzzled this afternoon by a loud squawk from the back garden, I rushed out just in time to see half a brick descend from the heavens with a thud onto the perfectly manicured lawn. This gargantuan piece of masonry had evidently been dropped by a passing gull, on its way to its nesting site.

Well, actually, on closer inspection it turned out to be half a Dundee cake, but, I mean, it could still have done someone a really nasty injury.

I would therefore advise any millionaire thinking of venturing outside in the coming few weeks not to do so without first donning a hard hat.


sfdretywu said...

It would be not only ecologically friendlier, but also safer, then, to eat all of your Dundee cake.
Or, perhaps, buy a smaller one?
Wonder which of the germs and parasites that herring gulls are made of, is responsible for teaching them how to use weapons?
Won't be leaving my axe by the wood-pile any more!

Anonymous said...

We should all start building our homes out of edible materials now, in preparation for the day when petrol's so dear we can't afford to drive to the supermarket any longer.