Anyone would think I was obsessed with that bloody awful Noel. It's probably best to move on, now that I've got that out of my system.
I'm just back from auditioning for the role of 'Voice of Pink Flame' in that jolly series of animated British Gas commercials. I'm not sure how well it went, though, as the casting director pulled a mouth like a cat's bottom when I ad libbed and went into my "You can't get rid of me that easily!" routine.
I think they're still smarting from all the lawsuits brought by parents of kids in the 80s who, in imitation of Bob Hoskins and J R Ewing, set their thumbs on fire and burnt the house down (particularly popular trick in Cliftonville, I heard). So the idea of a flame dancing around and shouting "You can't get rid of me that easily!" might not have conveyed the kind of message they're after.
But on the plus side, the people behind 'The Rich List' are apparently having a rethink, so I might be back in with a chance there.