Chimnobyl Site 'Capable Of Sustaining Life' Say Scientists

A report by scientists today claimed that the Chimnobyl caravan site in North Kent was more than capable of sustaining life, twenty years after the disaster which caused it to be created in the first place. The report concludes that expansion of the site should go ahead to accommodate the huge number of plumbers, used car salesmen and estate agents that have returned to the area and made it their permanent temporary home.

"We've even heard there might be the odd bank manager in there," said Boris Traylertrasch, head of the team that spent two months exploring the area armed only with Geiger counters, full NBC suits and tickets to see Westlife. "We found they were living as long as ordinary people."

He added that the team found plenty of evidence of DNA mutations, but nothing that impaired physiology or reproductive ability, barring the occasional discarded KFC Deluxe Boneless Box. "Nothing with two heads," he said. "Although there are rumours within the site that a builder with three legs called Jake lives in the ninth van down on the right."