Well, the season's almost upon us, so now's the time to predict what fashion trends we'll see around the Ile de Thanet for summer 2006. Here's what I've managed to glean from a brief conflab with my glitterati friends.
Going Up
- Primark track suits
- Faux diamond studded pit bull collars
- Metallic paint jobs (N-reg Fiestas, Davros undercarriages, hair dos)
- Mayfair cigarettes
- White Lightning cider
- Garden gnomes
- Zimmer frames
- House prices (Ramsgate)
- Crime figures (Birchington)
- Police response times (everywhere)
- Libraries, amusement arcades (in smoke)
Going Down
- IQs
- House prices (Birchington)
- Libraries, amusement arcades (in flames)
- Er, that's it.
If any of my observant readers have spotted any other trends, do let me know.
7 comments:
Turner Centres are on the way down, surely!
Showing off your burger collection by buying childrens clothes (no VAT, you see) and exposing midriffs that noone could possibly want to look at.
Feeding your dog various different shades of cochineal in order to make the view more interesting for the fag butt collectors and 'head down' hoodies.
Maybe some kind of flag on the new flag pole before people start using it to dry their washing on.
Public floggings on the bandstand. That one would, no doubt, pull them in by the thousands.
I get the feeling that doubled-up lamp posts are gonna be trendy throughout the summer too.
Dear Lucy,
I would have said you were right about the lamp posts, but today's good news (see above) means that street lamps are going down.
Although as ever I will believe it when I see it.
Yours,
ECR
One has to fly the Union Flag (or any other national flag)on Flagpoles, otherwise they need planning permission. I understand its ECR's birthday on the 21st, so perhaps we'll fly something then.
In assume he's British?
Dear DG and LM,
I was unaware that we had a surfeit of poles in the area. I will take a headcount on my evening constitutional.
And yes, DG, you are correct in your assumption re my Britishness. I propose to run the Union flag up my modest pole during the summer months, if that's alright with everyone.
Sincerely,
ECR
That effing bloody Tracey effing woman gets on my effing bloody effing wick with her effing effing bloody effing bloody effing effing send her down
Having only just fathomed the meaning of Cllr Green's birthday comment, I am very much perturbed that he believes I might in any way resemble an 80 year old queen. Furthermore, I would like to take this opportunity to reiterate that Hairagami can be fun for people of all ages, genders and sexuality.
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