EASTCLIFF RICHARD

Legal Threat From Euroferries

2009-11-07T12:01:00.018Z

Like Adem on the Big Blog, I too have received this rather threatening email from Euroferries, the people who are meant to be launching a fast ferry service between Ramsgate and Boulogne next Saturday. My initial thoughts were to tell their Mr Gillan to get stuffed. However, as you can see from my response I moderated that somewhat knee-jerk reaction to something rather more conciliatory. Here's what Euroferries wrote:

Dear Proprietor,

As a Director and solicitor of Euroferries it has been brought to my attention that you have published or permitted to publish on your blog site one or more libellous and/or defamatory statements (one being Euroferries have gone bust) which we construe has the effect of causing damage to Euroferries Limited.

We would respectively request you retract all said statements and related content from your sites with immediate effect as well as any sites that your publication has contaminated. We also request a published statement of apology and that you place this letter on your site immediately.

We would also like you to provide to us your details to: adrian.gillan@euroferries.co.uk in order that we can communicate with you on all matters relating to legal proceedings as well as the name and address of your ISP provider and your unique ID to enable us to inform them of this abuse and to take appropriate action.

Yours faithfully,
Adrian C Gillan
Solicitor and Director
Euroferries Limited

And my response:

Dear Adrian,

Thanks for your email. I will remove the post, as other references to this on the internet have now also been removed.

As for your other requests, go take a running jump.

While we're at it, just how do you explain the fact that your ferry is still stuck in Tenerife despite your promise to provide a service on 14 November for the people who have already booked and paid on your website? Will they get their money back if you fail to provide this service?

Kind regards,
EASTCLIFF RICHARD
Squeezing the news pimple on the arse of Thanet since January 2006

I personally know of people who have booked and paid for Euroferries tickets. If you, or someone you know, has done so too, do get in touch. Either append a comment to this post, or email me privately at richardeastcliff@yahoo.co.uk

Similarly I would also be interested in hearing from anyone, anywhere in the world, who has ever been paid by Euroferries Limited for anything - contractors, suppliers, councils, port authorities, ticket holders, transport agents, ship charterers... whatever. Either in their current Ramsgate - Boulogne incarnation, or in connection with their previous Dover - Boulogne - Calais effort.

Restaurant Praised, Ramsgate Rubbished in Independent

2009-11-07T09:57:00.009Z

I see Age & Sons, Ramsgate's premier eatery, has yet again won plaudits in the national press. Restaurant reviewer Tracey MacCleod gives the joint four stars out of five for food and service in today's Independent. However, she's less than complimentary about the island's premier town. She writes:

The once-thriving royal resort of Ramsgate should, in theory, be the perfect destination for a daytrip to the seaside, thanks to the imminent high-speed rail link from St Pancras. I had it all planned: a blustery walk on the beach, fish bought straight from the boat, perhaps a little antiques shopping, before a hearty lunch eaten in sight of the sea. I was thinking, it turns out, of Whitstable. Ramsgate is not, nor could ever be mistaken for, Whitstable.

The short taxi ride from station to harbour (courtesy of a driver with 'Love' and 'Hate' tattooed on his knuckles) took us past boarded-up shops and repossessed properties. It was clear that the flood of wealth which washed over south-east England during the last decade has largely by-passed this far easterly corner. As my fellow day-tripper Harry said, taking in the blighted landscape, 'Suddenly I see the point of Brighton'.

'Blighted landscape'? 'Boarded-up shops'? The knuckle-tattooed taxi driver didn't take you gullible DFLs via Margate, did he? And as for a 'blustery walk on the beach', 'fish straight from the boat' and 'antiques shopping', you could have done all those things here if you'd bothered to toddle a few yards, love. Not only that, but our beautiful Blue Flag beaches are sandy, not rocks/mud like those other places you mention.

As for Whitsta-bloody-bubble, I should jolly well hope Ramsgate could never be mistaken for the place, which these days is so crammed with middle class escapees from the smoke it resembles nothing more or less than an ethnically cleansed Islington-on-Sea. And last time I looked, Whitstable didn't have almost 1,000 listed buildings. Just a few tatty wooden shacks! Kuh!

Click here to read review of Age & Sons in the Independent

And click here to watch a repeat of Homes Under the Hammer on BBC iPlayer, in which the old Ramsgate police station, next door to Age & Sons, is given the makeover treatment by an accountant (Series 12, Episode 20)

Bonfire Night Of The Vanities

2009-11-06T14:56:00.005Z

I managed to hobble round to my 76 year old neighbour Betty's bonfire party last night. After the whizzbangs, she got to telling me that her poor old pussy is losing its fur and feels quite dry sometimes. Apparently it's also rather twitchy at this time of year and tries to slip out, so she spends most of her time pushing it back in through the flap.

I then happened to mention that the Tory Mayor of Margate, Ted Watt-Ruffell, was hauled up on a charge of maltreating kittens at the Cecil Square magistrates' court yesterday. I wonder if the kitty-fiddling accusations are related to the story in today's Gazunder about two sick little moggies found dumped outside a hotel in Cliftonville in September? The poor purrers have now been rehomed by the RSPCA, but it does all sound a little coincidental.

Anyway, Betty then went off like a rocket. 'The bloody Thanet Tories!' she fulminated. 'I'd like to put the whole f***in' lot of them on the f***in' bonfire! That f***in' Ezekiel he's been scolded by the standards people twice for calling the mayor a f***in' tosser and upsetting that f***in' petition! And as for f***in' Latchford and all the other f***in' cronies and hangers on. And that f***in' freeby trip to China that Wills paid for! And what about the f***in' planning department letting people build whatever they f***in' want wherever they want. What about all the f***in' burnt out holes that Jimmy Godden's left rotting for years, they've done f*** all about those! And now they want the f***in' airport to fly all night, those f***in' planes rattle the f***in' windows all day as it is!'

Well, after that rant, I was quite glad to limp back home and play with my own pussy!

Euroferries Launch Video

2009-11-05T17:24:00.005Z

Given the rather on/off, will it/won't it nature of the much-trumpeted fast ferry service between Ramsgate and Boulogne, I thought it might help move things along if I applied my indubitable directing skills to making a promotional film for Euroferries.

In the last 24 hours we've learnt that the vessel Euroferries is chartering from Fred Olsen, the Bonanza Express, has been slated to come to Boulogne, the UK, another port in Tenerife, yet another port in Tenerife, been painted in Euroferries colours, blah blah de-diddly blah.

Any-old-how, given that I'm mildly incapacitated and mostly indolent, I emailed my old factotum Mr Ceaucescu (no relation) a few bits and bobs at the school of plumbing in Turda where he's currently working, and this is what he's come up with. Not sure it's quite the thing, but what do you think?

All Change On The Fast Ferry Front?

2009-11-05T09:32:00.008Z

Yikes! This story's moving faster than a, er, fast ferry! I'm indebted to a reader for pointing out that the catamaran Bonanza Express, which everyone assumes has been chartered from Fred Olsen by the new Euroferries service between Ramsgate and Boulogne due to kick off on 14 November, has now had its destination and departure date changed on the Port of Santa Cruz website.

Only yesterday we were told it was being painted in the Euroferries livery in Santa Cruz de Tenerife, where it's currently docked. At the time, it was due to leave for the UK on 6 November according to the port website. Now its departure date is given as 22 November, and its destination... another part of Tenerife! Of course, it could just mean that Euroferries are chartering a different vessel for their new service, but then why go to all the trouble of painting their logo on the side of the Boney E?

I've also been emailed by another reader saying that yesterday's story on the Isle of Thanet Gazunder website (see 'Ramsgate ferry will arrive on time' in News Nibbles in the top, right hand corner of this blog) to the effect that the tax paid shop in Ramsgate passenger terminal has been completed is, to put it politely, a load of cods. So, what's going on? I think we should be told!

Bonanza Express on Port of Santa Cruz website

Expecting A Bonanza?

2009-11-04T13:29:00.005Z

All indications are that the new fast ferry service between Boulogne and the Millionaires' Playground will be going ahead on 14 November. Here's the evidence:

- Photos have been posted on our local biblio-bloke's blog and Adem's Big Blog of the Bonanza Express catamaran apparently being painted with the Euroferries logo in Tenerife on 30 October, along with a statement by Thanet South MP Steve Ladyman: 'I can’t wait to see the vessel finally arrive in Ramsgate. It could make a real difference to the Town so I have all my fingers crossed.' Must make using a computer a bit difficult, Steve. By the way, didn't you announce the service on 9 January, almost a year ago?

- A press release from Euroferries has been published on the This French Life website to the effect that they are still planning to launch on 14 November:

Euroferries is pleased to confirm that the high speed ferry, Bonanza Express, since last week has been undergoing final preparations by FOSA (Fred Olsen S.A.) in Tenerife for its transfer to Boulogne. Arrangements including dredging are in hand at both ports in support of Euroferries new Ramsgate/Boulogne service scheduled to commence on the 14th November.

- Bonanza Express is due to depart from Tenerife (for Boulogne, it is assumed) on Friday, according to the Port of Santa Cruz website.

And the clincher - Euroferries are taking bookings for 14 November onwards, and your money, on their website! And the nice, reassuring lady on the phone is telling callers everything is fine, and that the ticket prices include travel insurance, so your dough is safe anyway. Hurrah!

Speaking as a Ramsgatonian, I'd be very happy if this service did go ahead. Speaking as a fully paid up member of the Cynics Club of Great Britain however...

RoRo Your Boat

2009-11-03T14:02:00.005Z

Sticking with matters ferrylike, Oostende (Ostend in old money) reader Kris has sent me a link to this wonderfully evocative film he's put on BoobTube. It chronicles a crossing on the TransEuropa ferry Primrose. So if you've ever, like me, gazed out over Ramsgate's East Cliff at one of our lovely ferries and wondered what it would be like to be gazing back, here's your chance to find out.

Of course, it'll be all change next year when a couple of the existing old tubs will have to be replaced due to EU rules. Word is that TEF are sourcing some brand new old tubs from P&O. Watch this space!

Countdown To Blast-Off!

2009-11-02T12:11:00.005Z

by Isle of Thanet Gazunder Transport Editor Kat O'Moran

With the official start of the new Euroferries fast ferry service between Ramsgate and Boulogne just 12 days away, 100s of Thanetians have already booked and paid for their first trip [More fool them - Ed]! So to celebrate the new service, here's ten things you didn't know about Ramsgate and Boulogne!!!!!

1. Ramsgate has the only Royal Harbour in the UK!!!
2. Boulogne's full name, 'Boulogne-sur-mer', means 'Boulogne-on-sea'!!
3. The future Queen Victoria visited Ramsgate!!
4. Matilda of Boulogne was Queen of England from 1105-1152!!
5. Ramsgate was a favourite holiday destination of Karl Marx!!!
6. On 15 June 1944, the RAF bombed Boulogne Harbour to bits!!!
7. Ramsgate has more listed buildings than Bath!!!!
8. In 1905, Boulogne hosted the first ever Esperanto conference!!
9. Ramsgate is home to the only pinball museum in Britain!
10. Boulogne is home to Nausicaa, the French National Sea Centre!

[That's enough facts culled from Wikipedia - Ed]

East Of The Wantsum

2009-11-01T13:04:00.006Z

Here's this week's East of the Wantsum. As ever, you can click the pic to enjoy it in full Panavision. And I thoroughly recommend reading the last frame in a Kim Jong Il style 'I'm Rone-ry' accent for maximum sniggering pleasure!

Next week it's all change at the Isle of Thanet Gazunder, where my strip usually appears every Friday. The rag's having a makeover, so who knows where, or whether, East of the Wantsum will fit in.

More importantly, buried in the Gazunder 'revamp' news is the shock revelation that the other Thanet papers in the Daily Mail owned Northcliffe Media group, Thanet Times and Sadscene, are 'merging'. Which effectively means one or the other has folded (in the financial rather than the literal paper sense). Clearly the plastic bottom has fallen out of the double glazing market, and with Broadstairs uPvc millionaires barely able to scrape enough together for their third Range Rover, I presume advertising budgets are being cut to the bone.

Still, it's not all doom and gloom as the Gazunder has a new, award winning hack to replace Dr Who and George Formby obsessed Thom Morris who's departed for pastures new (Ashford). Step forward Andy Woodman, who this week scooped [Geddit?!!!?] an 'exclusive' on how the, er, floaters in the water over on the east of the island will prevent Viking Bay from getting a Blue Flag yet again next year. Maybe the poor Dickensians would have more luck applying for a Poo Flag.

And speaking of poo-pooing, needless to say the Gazunder's lovely editor Rebecca poured cold, Viking Bay water on my suggestion that Andy should be given his own column: Woodman's Chopper - A light-hearted look at the burgeoning Thanet dogging scene! Well, come on, if she can have a column called The Joy of Bex, why on earth not?!

Putting The Willies Up The Old Folk

2009-10-31T13:53:00.003Z

Which in another context may well be termed gerontophilia. But no, this is about Halloween. My neighbour Betty, who's 76, finds all the trick-or-treating quite scary. So this year she's fashioned this rather esoteric pumpkin, or 'bumpkin' as I like to call it, in the hope that the sight of it in her front window will put the little blighters off. Good luck with that, Betty. My guess is that it may well attract something a bit scarier than a couple of 8 year olds dressed as vampires, but hey-ho.

Personally I don't mind the rascals, and have shipped in a box of Charbonnel et Walker Champagne Truffles especially for the occasion. Not only are they delicious, but they could well redirect the local oiks onto a more aspirational path!

Eddie The Fish

2009-10-30T14:15:00.006Z

Being as I don't get out much at the moment, I'm having to rely on one of my informants for the fact that the excellent Eddie Gilbert, who, bizarrely, is actually called Johnny (and not to be confused with Eddie the Beer, who really is called Eddie) has now opened a restaurant and fish 'n' chip takeaway at his stylish King Street premises here in the Ms' P. Yet more proof that the town is on the up! Yay! I'll have to borrow Betty my neighbour's Davros undercarriage later and go check it out.

I'm hoping his nosh will be as good as, if not better than, the superb Newington Fish Bar as it'll only mean a toddle for my Friday supper, rather than a trip out in the jalopy. Pete's Fish Factory next to the Belgian Bar is pretty good too, although I'm not a fan of the traditional, surly British service they dish up with their traditional, yummy British fish 'n' chips.

Of course, the one thing a chippie usually needs is a punny name. We have the Codfather here in Ramsgate, which is a fair effort. But my favourite has to be the one I clocked a few years ago next to Sizewell nuclear power station in Suffolk - Fission Chips! Needless to say, their mushy peas glowed in the dark.

Blogger Forces Resignation Of 'Nazi' Council

2009-10-30T10:19:00.004Z

I'm indebted to reader Joshua for pointing the old Eastcliff eyeball in the direction of a story that appeared on the BBC News website yesterday. Apparently 11 out of the 15 councillors in Somerton, Somerset have cashed in their chips following a campaign by a local blogger. According to the Beeb:

On his Muck&Brass blog Niall Connolly called members 'jackasses' and said a leaflet was 'like a Nazi call to arms'... He added that he had been trying to 'bring attention to the local problems in Somerton concerning Somerton Town Council.'

The council will have to hold new elections as there are now too few councillors to make official decisions.

Hurrah! If only the Thanet Reich would take their cue from Somerton! After all, here on the island's premier blog I've been banging on about their incompetence and corruption for years. I've stopped short of labelling them 'Nazis' though. Perhaps that's where I've been going wrong. But then, there's nothing especially Nazi about them. Unless you count the rather blocky design for the Turnip Centre, which looks as if it may have been inspired by Hitler's architect Albert Speer (see photo above). No wonder the locals are now referring to it as 'Das Kunstbunker'!

Click here to read full story on BBC News website
Click here to go to Muck&Brass blog

Watch Out, There's A Scammer About!

2009-10-29T18:24:00.009Z

No, nothing to do with a particularly messy night out in the company of George Michael, as the above ad, taken from one of those 1960s East Kent Critics that our local Biblio-Bloke put up on his excellent thanetonline blog a while back, might suggest.

No, this is something altogether more serious. I've heard from a few of my contacts in the Thanet restaurant trade that an internet scammer is doing the rounds, sending out emails requesting block bookings over the festive season. Here's a typical example:

Hello,
I am Dr. Allen Bradley ,the director of Staff welfare MCL Offshore UK Ltd. I want to book dinner for my group of workers .
They will all come for dinner in your place as from December 2nd, 3rd, 4th by 6:30pm each day.
They are 15 in number.Get back with your response if there is availability in your restaurant.
Kind Regards,
Dr. Allen Bradley
Tel : +447045705287

From the weird grammar, phrasing and punctuation, you might possibly have smelt a rat already. If not, and you respond, this is what you get:

Hello.

Many thanks for your response.We will appreciate if you prepare a 3 course menu for my group for the dinner No special dietary.

We will be happy for any suggestion you may render since this is our first dinner in your restaurant

Kindly provide the total cost of the dinner for the 15 persons for the 3 night dinner so as to provide my credit card details for full payment confirmation.

Your response will be appreciated.

Kind Regards,

Dr. Allen Bradley
Mobile Number : +447035962564

You really should have twigged something's up by now, but continue the correspondence and here's the clincher:

Hello,

Thanks for your reply and assistance so far and we will book for the dinner.I will make a payment deposit of Euro 2,000 which will cover their meals and drinks in advance because we are not sure of what your guests might like to drink or how much they are likely to consume.

Moreover, we were able to make an arrangement with a pre-paid car hiring agent who will supply the guests with vehicles that will be used by the guests to and for your place. So in order not to share my credit card information with a third party, I have decided that only you will have to handle my credit card information.

More so, the prepaid agent and do not have the facility to make a manual charge to a credit card if not present. On my own side, I would have sent him his money directly, but am on the high sea work on an OIL RIG. There are no bank or moneygram here where I can make payment directly to the agent.

So once you are in receipt of my credit card details,you are required to charge the total amount of Euro 9,000 + processing fees on my card,then deduct Euro 2,000 as initial payment deposit for the dinner(meals and drinks) and send the balance of Euro 7,000 to the prepaid car / ticketing agent whose information I will forward to you once this is confirmed.

Confirm this and provide me with your
(1) YOUR FULL NAME
(2) FULL ADDRESS
(3) PHONE NUMBERS for office record.

All checks and balances shall be done with the group leader on the final day of their dinner.

Please be advised that we shall pay for all expenses and fees incurred as a result of the entire amount to be charged.

Kind Regards,
Dr. Allen Bradley
Tel : +447035946663
Mobile : +447035948143
Fax : +447075020654

Your response at this point really should be F*CK YOU, DICKWAD! Because, of course, what will happen is that he'll send you his (fraudulent) credit card details, but will force you to make the transfer to his 'car-hiring agent' (him or his mate) before you can put the transaction through. So you'll be down €7000, as the credit card will turn out to be a fake and worth nought. Oh, and he'll have your personal details too, so he can start cloning your identity.

There are all kinds of variations on this little earner. And although 'Dr Allen Bradley' or 'Allan Brad' seem to be his preferred monikers, he sometimes uses a foreign name to disguise the poor English. He's even been known to do this over the telephone. But his MO always seems to be the same - multiple restaurant bookings.

So be warned, bar owners and restaurateurs of Thanet! If someone wants to book a huge table three nights on the trot, it could be an early Christmas present. In all likelihood, however, it'll leave you with a very expensive hangover in the New Year!

Click here to read more about the 'Dr Allen Bradley' restaurant scam

Caravan Of Love

2009-10-29T15:09:00.004Z

As if there weren't enough examples of what happens when an alcohol-soaked sperm collides with a crack-addled ovum tottering around (mainly the north of) our lovely island, the junta of duffers that is our beloved council now want to cram even more 'static caravans' onto Thanet soil.

As we all know, trailer trash breed like rabbits, whereas the emaciated gametes of the overworked, overtaxed and overachieving middle classes can barely make it out of the launch tubes these days. Result? Within a few years we could be swamped by Stella-sodden, crystal meth toting, permanently pregnant cro-magnons in ripped jeans and peroxided mullets, sucking on the public nipple until the blasted thing runs dry. I mean, there's an evens chance that, given that scenario, Waitrose might become a Morrisons. And then where will I be able to buy millionaire shortbread? Yikes!

The sorry saga of how the extension to Bradgate Caravan Park in Lydden was nodded through by the crew of cretins in Cecil Square, despite a previous refusal and a recommendation to refuse again by council officials, has been written up on Bertie Biggles' excellent Thanet Strife blog (good to see you back, and on form, Bertie!). What Bertie hasn't mentioned, though, is that 'trailer park ghettoes' are currently springing up like great, plastic, box-shaped weeds on the north Wales coast, due to the vicissitudes of the current economic climate. The county of Conwy now has 165 of the blasted things! And guess what? Many of the people living in them stay there the whole year round, and don't even pay council tax. So, a planning application wafted through, and not much hope of even making a few bob for the community coffers out of it. Hmm. Methinks I smell a large, rotten, TDC fish!

Still, never fear, Tory planning supremo Ken Gregory batted off objections that the transport infrastructure wouldn't be able to cope with the influx of, er, happy caravanners by saying they would be 'rolling up in Bentleys and Rolls-Royces to stay in their holiday homes.' Oh, so that's alright then. As we know, the council's planning department have never got anything wrong, have they?

Click here to read about the planning debacle on Thanet Strife
Click here to read about Bentley driving trailer trash in yourfannit
Click here to read about Welsh trailer trash on BBC News website

Hello, Hello, I'm Back Again!

2009-10-28T20:38:00.006Z

And living in Cliftonville. Or Ramsgate. Or Herne Bay. Take your pick.

Well, it took a long, expensive lunch and several bottles of Australian Leg Opener to persuade Samantha to hand over the password to my blog. Apparently she thought it would be amusing to kill me off. Hmm. Not sure I was particularly amused by that. She also seems to have gone a little power crazy during her tenure, and taken the opportunity to toy with the immense kudos and influence that running Thanet's Premier Blog confers. She's not all bad, though, and has offered to make it up by buying me a pair of elasticated trousers at Westwood Cross tomorrow. I've, er, put on a bit of weight since I was immobilised.

But the enforced break (courtesy of a Pole in a Peugeot) has given me cause to look deep into myself, and, to be honest dear reader, I haven't liked what I've seen. For too long now I've been using my enormously superior wit and intellect to bully and berate the little people. The little people who live on the north of the island. This really isn't fair. They are, for the most part, poorly educated and feeble minded, and deserve our sympathy more than our scorn.

So from now on you'll be seeing a shiny, new Dick. An upstanding Dick, with two great, weighty appendages - responsibility and respect.

Nah, on second thoughts that sounds like a load of bollocks to me! Now, have I told you about the Boredstares bar owner who gets his kicks by dressing up in ladies' undercrackers?!?!

The King Is Dead, Long Live The Queen

2009-10-27T12:49:00.006Z

Having a bite down at the excellent Belgian Bar last night, the references on their menu to 'Ramsgate's riviera' and the 'Millionaires' Playground' reminded me that there was something I meant to tell you. Poor old Dickie passed away yesterday following complications arising out of his motorcycle accident. He had seemed to be making a full recovery but contracted some kind of chest infection and went rapidly downhill. Despite the best efforts of the doctors and nurses at the UCL, he died in the early hours.

I don't think he would want any of us to be sad, and he was still cracking jokes about Thanet Council right up until the end according to his sister. In fact he made a point of writing his own obituary because, as he said in true ECR style, he 'didn't want any other bastard writing it'. I will maintain this blog to the best of my ability as a tribute to the great man, and the fact that phrases such as 'the Cannes of Kent', 'knackered old Jumbos' and 'council duffers' have passed into local parlance are a lasting legacy to his genius.

So as we say goodbye, here are the final words 'what he wrote' (as he said in the email):

In Memoriam
Eastcliff Richard
The King of Thanet Bloggers

So farewell
Then, Eastcliff Richard.

They called you
'Thanet's Premier Blog' and
'The Local Blogging King'

'You can't get rid
Of me that easily'
That was
Your catchphrase.

Well I've fucking
Gone now
So I hope
You're all happy.

E. C. Richard (29)

North Thanet MP Plans Wife Swap

2009-10-26T17:03:00.006Z

This article in yesterday's Mail on Sunday caught my eye. Apparently Roger Gale, the Conservative MP for North Thanet, is planning to swap his wife with another MP's to get around the new rules that ban family members from working for right honourable members. Here's an extract:

'It's ironic you can shack up with an MP, but if you are married to him or have a civil partnership you get the sack,' says Suzy Gale, who licks envelopes for her husband, Roger Gale, Tory MP for Thanet.

I presume, as well as a long, licky tongue, that a good bark, a wet nose and a propensity for scraping your arse along the living room carpet are also prerequisites for the post, Suzy. On no, haha, my mistake, Suzy's the one on the left! Sxx.

Click here to read more in the Mail on Sunday

Ramsgate Woman Given Bad Head

2009-10-26T11:33:00.004Z

Yes that will be me then. It's been pounding all morning after a weekend of mad drinking with my mad drinking friend Beth. I don't think I've been to so many bars in 48 hours.

Being free and single she was half hoping to find romance in Ramsgate as she really hasn't had much luck in London, but was sadly disappointed by the quality of the men on offer. Most seem to think a series of unintelligible grunts followed by the words 'Show us your knickers' counts as flirtation, and I suppose that for most of the female population of Thanet on a Saturday night that would do the trick. Thankfully though, Beth's not really the kind to squeeze into a white lycra body tube that stretches to just below the pubic region and a millimetre above the areolas, let alone spending the entire day bleaching and straightening her hair, and gluing dead caterpillars to her eyelids, before trowelling in the Polyfilla for a cold October night out, so their charms were wasted on her.

But we did 'learn' a few things from the locals. We now 'know' that 90% of the inhabitants of Dalby Square are paedophiles, that Gary Glitter lives in Cliftonville and that one of the pillars of the local community has fatally succumbed to swine flu. Why is it that so much of the local gossip is so horribly negative? Or just plain shit? Sxx.

East Of The Wantsum

2009-10-23T17:44:00.007+01:00

For what it is worth, here is this week's East of the Wantsum. Personally I think the blow to Dickie's helmeted head has addled his brain and he'll never be the same again. But then what do I know, I am not a brain surgeon.

By some sort of perverse, crappy magic, as I was walking to the shop on Bellevue Road to pick up this week's Thanet Gazette, I came across some more old rubbish:

This situation has persisted for years in this part of Ramsgate's East Cliff. The council appears to be incapable of doing anything about it. So maybe Dickie is right after all. Hey-diddle-diddle. My friend Beth is down from London for the weekend tonight and we're out on the razz. So what do I care? Sxx.

Dreamland Remembered

2009-10-21T13:17:00.007+01:00

East Kent author and journalist Nick Evans has just published an expanded and updated version of his excellent book Dreamland Remembered, and has sent me a couple of photos from it. The first is from the 70s, or possibly even the 60s judging by the outfits Mum, Dad and the kids are wearing. And there's also this great photo of Norman Wisdom causing mayhem in the funpark during an episode of It's a Knockout:

The place was first called 'Dreamland Hall' in 1920, so next year will be the 90th anniversary. Nick's book, which is widely regarded as the definitive history of Dreamland, now includes a lot more colour and black and white photos (240 in all), plus more historical data, spread over 128 pages. Priced at £15.99, it's available at local bookshops (including Michael's excellent emporium here in Ramsgate) and other outlets around East Kent. Or you can get it via mail order by sending a cheque for £17, including post and packing, from Nick Evans, PO Box 201, Whitstable, Kent CT5 1WT. It can also be ordered online from Amazon and Joyland Books.

Well, that's the ad over. I'm sure Nick won't mind me having a little dig now. Here's a peep into the future at the thrills and spills we can look forward to once the proposed 'heritage theme park' is up and running on the site. Enjoy! Sxx.

KCC Win £6m Back Over Turner Cock-Up

2009-10-20T14:49:00.004+01:00

Good news for supporters of Margate's Kunstbunker which is currently rising up on the Rendezvous site. Kent County Council have won £6m back from the architects of Turner Center Mark I, which was going to be built in the North Sea as an extension to the harbour arm (or pier as it used to be called until about a year ago).

According to the magazine New Civil Engineer, Norwegian architects Snohetta, cost consultant Davis Langdon and consultant Ramboll have agreed to pay the council the £6m inclusive of interest and costs it spent on the project that was abandoned in February 2006.

Now all KCC have to do is get our £50m back from Iceland! And more good Margate-related news the delightful Fiona Sherriff, proprietor of the Harbour Arm/Pier thingy, has emailed me to say she is putting on those lovely old folkers Fairport Convention at the Theatre Royal next January. They were a big draw when they played at Margate's Westcoast Bar in May, and Fiona says she is also working on getting a 'special act' to support them. The gig is on 30 January, and tickets are available from the box office on 0845 130 1786. Sxx.

At Last - Thanet Council Does Something Useful

2009-10-19T13:49:00.003+01:00

I see from the BBC News website that UKIP is being forced to give back £363,000 donated by a bookmaker from Thanet, because he wasn't on the electoral register at the time he made the donation.

Alan Bown says he was removed from Thanet's register by mistake without his knowledge. As anyone who donates more than £200 to a political party has to be on a register it means the money will have to be paid back - to the Treasury. Haha! That should wipe the smug smile off Nigel Farage's face! Well done TDC! Sxx.

Click here to read the story on the BBC News website

Whitney Boob

2009-10-19T12:15:00.006+01:00

Did anyone else see Whitney Houston nearly fall out of her dress live on X Factor at the weekend? It was almost a Judy Finnigan moment. She looked a bit whacked out too, but we are told she has put all that behind her.

The gorgeous Dermot O'Leary recovered the situation well though, I thought. Someone told me he has a place in Ramsgate. Now that's one Ramsgatonian I wouldn't mind bumping into on a dark night ;-) Sxx.

East Of The Wantsum

2009-10-19T10:49:00.004+01:00

I've been in a real state over the weekend because the central heating broke down. My thanks to Geoff from British Gas for spending hours rummaging around my pipework and getting me going again, what a hunk of spunk xxx.

I forgot to put Dickie's Gazette strip on the blog on Friday so here it is. He thinks he might be well enough to start blogging again this week so watch this space! Sxx

Thanet Council Should Get The Sack

2009-10-18T12:47:00.005+01:00

By that I mean the 'Reusable Seagull Proof Refuse Sack', silly! My friend Stacey in Totnes sent me this photo of hers and it really seems like a good way of avoiding all the mess on the streets that the seagulls peck out from the black bin bags on bin day.

I know the residents of Augusta Road here in Ramsgate have petitioned the council for them, as the council says theirs is one of the roads that are 'unsuitable' for wheelie bins. For 'unsuitable' read 'can't be bothered' if you ask me, but anything that can stop the area looking like a third world country most of the week has got to be worth considering hasn't it? Sxx.