April Fool's Gold

On my morning stroll along the promenade, I noticed all the old, redundant street lamps had gone, as had the temporary cyclone fencing, which had been replaced with permanent railings. Come to think of it, the pavements were clean and all the graffiti had been scrubbed off the Monte Carlo style casino. In the Marina, the Sultan of Brunei was having a party on his £200m yacht, and walking back up King Street, there was a brand new Harvey Nic's I hadn't noticed before, with Sir Alan Sugar pulling up in his Bentley Corniche. And, as a polite young man, out walking his King Charles Spaniel in his D&G jeans, doffed his Armani hood and wished me a jovial 'Good morning!', Gordon Ramsay came out of his new restaurant on the other side of the street. Then, glancing down at my Rolex, I noticed the date, and realised I shouldn't have taken that extra sleeping tablet last night.