Sunday, April 30, 2006

The Smell Of Margate

Self-immolation appears to have become all the rage amongst the hurdy-gurdyists, so I thought I'd give Broadstairs a miss today and pilot the TT over to Margate instead. Here's my report.

1. Parked up in 'Rendezvous' car park. Car park full of architects' Bentleys. Occupants gazing wistfully at where the old Anthea Turner Centre might have been, wondering how they will spend the twelve million smackers on offer to build the new Anthea Turner Centre. (Answer: by converting the lifeboat station into a multi-storey car park and pocketing the other eleven million).

2. Walked up high street to find a hole in the wall. Plenty of holes in most of the walls.

3. Passed by a public house called The Waverley. Two tattoed men outside screaming at each other: "DO YOU WANT SOME?" Assume this is how the channel dividing the Ile from the rest of Kent derived its name.

When I dined with Ronnie Biggs in Rio in the 90s, he told me that what he missed most about Blighty was the smell of Margate, and that it was his dying wish to be given the opportunity to savour it again.

Well, even though he's now banged up in Belmarsh, 70 miles up the road, I think I can say with utter certainty that Ronnie will have at last attained his heart's desire.


sfdretywu said...

So you think the smell will kill him?
Very cheery.
All he did was to steal some money. Someone passed away from the shock of it.
He's had to live with his mistake for years, surely our hearts should go out to him!
Maybe, if he'd started his life on the Eastcliff of Ramsgate, things would've been different...

Eastcliff Richard said...

You're in a very philosophical mood tonight, Ram Skate.

Ronnie used to see just about any Brit who bowled up in Rio, from City bankers to scrap metal dealers. All you had to do was buy him dinner, and tell him how things were back home. He missed Blighty something rotten.

Sid said...

Ronnies problem was trying to join the millionaires club the easy way. The Securitas mob made the same mistake more recently. A little job here and a little job there is much more effective.

tony flaig said...

In reference to your point 3, clearly you have no understanding of etiquette and manners as practised in the more genteel parts of Thanet, maybe you have spent too long in Ramsgate.

Eastcliff Richard said...

You're right Tony. I think if Ronnie could have had his time again, he would have made his home in Birchington.

Lucy Mail said...

How can you possibly take a statement like 'maybe you have spent too long in Ramsgate' seriously, when it comes from someone with a lovely sausage in their gob in a foreign country?

Eastcliff Richard said...

Lucy, please don't be too hard on Tony, the poor soul lives in Margate, and personally I don't blame him for preferring Prague, or indeed anywhere else for that matter!

Lucy Mail said...

I guess I owe an apology then.
Tony, I'm sorry you live in Margate and I'll endeavour not to make you do that again!
I was simply trying to point out that, not living in Ramsgate yourself, how can you possibly know when someone has lived here too long?
I've lived here for less than half of my life and am full of regret for my mislocation prior to that.