Saturday, May 13, 2006

Wilkinsons Word

Well that's football fever over and done with until, oh, er, let me see, oh yes, the World Cup next month.

Just before the Cup Final, I pottered down to Waitrose to purchase some goodies for Scottie, aka Snailspace, aka dilithiums etc etc, just to say thanks for the fine portrait he did of me. On the way back, I made the mistake of nipping into Wilkinsons, the, um, er...

Sorry, but I'm at a bit of a loss to describe Wilkinsons. If anything, it's a cross between your Dad's shed, the drawer of crap in your kitchen, and that old refrigerator that's been stuffed up the alley by the side of number 22. Needless to say, all the women in there looked as if they dipped their heads in a bucket of bleach every morning, and both sexes gave every appearance of subsisting almost entirely on a diet of six inch nails.

Give me Waitrose any day!

15 comments:

sfdretywu said...

Although I'm not quite a millionaire, I do have a telly in my bedroom.
When I went to bed last night, I thought I'd watch a little bit of it to bore me to sleep. BBC1 were showing the cup match so I took in a bit of Chinese culture on BBC2. Do their women really drown their babies if the husband brings a whore home for the night? Odd!
Upon waking this morning, I was alarmed (but not surprised) to find BBC1 still showing the cup match. Was it on all night?
With the World cup coming up, does anyone want to buy a telly for no money?
Which cup was it that noone quite won last night, anyway?

Eastcliff Richard said...

Ram Skate dear chap, it was the KFC FA Cup, and it was won by Liverpool United on points, which means they go on to play Barcelona in the finals of Wimbledon.

The game lasted from Friday evening until a few minutes ago, when the last West Ham Albion player was stretchered off, having worn his legs down to to teeny tiny stumps.

Final score was 2,987,564 - 2,987,563.

sfdretywu said...

Not quite sure why they didn't just toss for it. Would've involved just as much football skill and the players, probably, would've tired much quicker.
Think I may take a leaf out of your book and turn to Wilco for my entertainment in future.

Snailspace said...

Just take your tv over to Margate and leave it unattended for a few seconds.
Some nice chaps with hoods and / or the obligitory baseball hat will take it off your hands.

Eastcliff Richard said...

Just to change tack a bit here, Ram Skate old bean, have you seen Snailspace's pen and ink of you over on his blog? Do you really spend your entire working day doing lines?

sfdretywu said...

I don't believe I want to get rid of my telly so badly that I'd be prepared to take a trip to the north of the Ile.
Think I may just take it to the shed and see if I can make something useful out of it.
Probably get bored with that around lunch time, at which point I'll most likely shuffle off down the pub and Gadd a few pints in.
Anyone else interested?
I can feel a bit of a lecture coming on about stereotyping. NOT ALL SKATERS WEAR BASEBALL CAPS!!! Though some do wear a fag in their mouth for the most part and the lining machine does look like fun.
Gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that I may pop into The Montefiore Arms between 1 and 2pm today (or Raffles as it's known to the regulars) where we can put the record straight!

Eastcliff Richard said...

I said I'd meet Elton at Bluewater this lunchtime. There's a £400 pepper grinder in John Lewis he's got his eye on.

sfdretywu said...

Seems unreasonably expensive for a grind. Still, easy come, easy go, eh?
I think i'd be expexting a leather clad grind for that kind of money!

sfdretywu said...

New word alert, BTW!

Donkey Oaty said...

Ram Skate, I may sally forth myself to the Montefiore Lounge this lunchtime You will easily recognise me because I will be consuming copious quantities of Yorkshire's finest John Smith's Smooth in preference to that homespun stuff brewed by Jimmy Clitherow's younger brother. Hopefully I will also win a carrier bag full of Mine Host's finest knitted mince to stave off the hunger pangs later.

sfdretywu said...

mmmmm... Andies' second hand meat but none the less prime for that! Personally, I'd rather have the cash and furnish myself at Marks and Sparks.
Perhaps catch you later then, supping your fizzy keg bitter.

Snailspace said...

Do accept my most humble appologies for the use of the base ball hat.
Please state prefered head gear or hair stye and I will gladly edit and repost

sfdretywu said...

I'll be honest, and I've tried all sorts of things, I don't think there's anything you could put on my head that would suit me.

SkinOfStars said...

how about a turban?

sfdretywu said...

Ok, perhaps a crash helmet but I'd need something hot and throbbing between my legs too.