Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Mystery Man

Now that I'm going to be doing my bit for the Millionaires' Playground, I'm beginning to feel slightly guilty that I'm not pulling my weight when it comes to bolstering the summer season over in the Arsonists'.

Drawing on my not insubstantial showbiz experience, I've decided to resurrect an idea from the 70s, when all the red tops would run a 'Mystery Man' competition during the summer months. The idea was to publish a photograph of their 'Mystery Man', and any holidaymaker that spotted the fellow, and approached him using the designated phrase, would be handed a crisp fiver.

So, come the August bank holiday, I'll be walking up and down Margate front, a bundle of notes in my pocket, waiting to be approached with the phrase: "You are Eastcliff Richard and I claim my five pounds".

Mind you, I'll have to work on my disguise, as I think a stab vest and industrial respirator would be giving the game away rather too easily.


Lucy Mail said...

In the event that you are approached before the August bank holiday and not necessarily in Arsonland, can we still claim a fiver?
It's just that the trail is getting warmer and I think I may have a result within a week or two.
The fiver would certainly help towards all the dick work i've been involved in over the last month or so.
No such thing as a free wheedle in Ramsgate.

Eastcliff Richard said...

Personally I think it would be extremely difficult to pick me out from all the other TT driving, Krug swilling millionaires here in Ramsgate, so make it a tenner!

Lucy Mail said...

Very well. That may be just enough to tip it with one of Ramsgates future millionaires who is not only struggling a bit for cash at the mo but is also, I suspect, holding back valuable information.

Eastcliff Richard said...

Cripes, sounds like you might be on to something. I'd pay a lot more for the negatives, if that's your game. I could leave the cash in a brown paper envelope round the back of the Granville.

Lucy Mail said...

I'm in it for personal satisfaction, not the money.
Don't worry, everyone else can sod right off!
Having said that, I may go for a little poke around behind the Granville, anyway.
It was quite rewarding last time.

No 1 admirer x said...

Can I claim a fiver now?

Eastcliff Richard said...

Oooh! Now you're all fighting over me!