Now that I'm going to be doing my bit for the Millionaires' Playground, I'm beginning to feel slightly guilty that I'm not pulling my weight when it comes to bolstering the summer season over in the Arsonists'.
Drawing on my not insubstantial showbiz experience, I've decided to resurrect an idea from the 70s, when all the red tops would run a 'Mystery Man' competition during the summer months. The idea was to publish a photograph of their 'Mystery Man', and any holidaymaker that spotted the fellow, and approached him using the designated phrase, would be handed a crisp fiver.
So, come the August bank holiday, I'll be walking up and down Margate front, a bundle of notes in my pocket, waiting to be approached with the phrase: "You are Eastcliff Richard and I claim my five pounds".
Mind you, I'll have to work on my disguise, as I think a stab vest and industrial respirator would be giving the game away rather too easily.