Friday, May 19, 2006

State Of The Union

My fellow Thanetonians.

As I gaze down upon your small island from my orbiting cryo-cyberspace station 200 miles above, I see a nation divided. To the south I see wealth, happiness and naked virgins gaily cavorting in the Caribbean sunshine. To the north I see squalor, deprivation and tattooed pit bulls fanning the flames of hate and greed. (Applause.)

This state of affairs, which the journalists Mooreward and Flaigstein have called 'The Margate Scandal', must come to an end. I have instructed the Director Of The FBI, Davros Undercarriage III, to investigate, and he has already impeached a couple of ice cream vendors and dog called Butch. The investigation is progressing surely and swiftly to its inevitable conclusion, and it is only a matter of time before the winds of change reap their revenge on the seeds that have been sown by a rolling stone which gathers no moss. (Applause.)

I feel certain you will agree that, if this situation is not nipped in the bud, people will begin to vote with their feet. Frankly, I would vote with my feet too, if they weren't like blocks of ice. Would somebody turn the frigging heating up in here, please. (Applause.)

May God continue to bless the United States of America. (Applause.)

Richard M Nixon, President

6 comments:

SkinOfStars said...

No deep throating this time please.

sfdretywu said...

Dear ECR,

As I have pointed out previously, I would leave your site upon your invitation only (or if I got bored, whichever came soonest).
The former, it seems.
It is with deep regret and considerable consideration that I have decided to take you up on your offer.
It was never my intention to make the babies cry but I somehow managed it all the same. Just wanted a bit of a laugh, get some things off my chest and maybe make the odd salient point or two.
I will continue to read your blog, because it is bloody funny, but will no longer post.
Thanks for a great time while it lasted.

Yours sincerely,

RamSkateRaider.




Dear Dr Moore esq.

A little self-effacement every now and again probably wouldn't hurt.
I'm sure it would make your site a sight moore popular.

Yours very sincerely,

SameAsAbove.

SkinOfStars said...

I feel the need to apologise now for dropping the tone before such a heartfelt statement.

Will miss you ram-skate.

Eastcliff Richard said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
tony flaig said...

what

Eastcliff Richard said...

Erm, there's been a spot of bother, Tone.