I've asked Nigel to rub the Lear jet down with a damp cloth, as I'm off to Manchester for a couple of days. They desperately needed an A-lister to open some new tower block they've built, and, well, frankly they couldn't find a proper celebrity 'oop north', hence the call to duty.
In the meantime I invite you to cast your eyes, glass or otherwise, over my archives.
And if you're that bloke who burgled our top cop 'Super!' Peter West, don't go getting any ideas about breaking into my clifftop mansion while I'm away. Or at least, if you do, please ensure you take the chipped Minton vase that's on the mantelpiece. It's been annoying me for months, the blighters at the insurance company won't cough up unless it's totalled.
Right, I'm off to Ramsgate Kent Manston International London Airport. I'll be back soon, because, as I'm sure you all know by now, you can't get rid of me that easily!