Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Portrait Of Ramsgate Millionaire Unveiled

A portrait of Ramsgate's new millionaire celebrity Richard Eastcliff was unveiled today. The painting, by local artist Snailspace (aka That Bloke With Dilithium Crystals In His Jocks) will now hang in the National Portrait Gallery.

Mr Eastcliff said he was delighted with the likeness, and added: "I think he's captured my chiselled features perfectly. I thought about hanging it in place of my bathroom mirror, it's that good!"

A spokesman for the National Portrait Gallery confirmed that Mr Eastcliff almost certainly would be hanged if he came anywhere near them, as he had been a pain in the arts for quite some time now.


sfdretywu said...

This repeated exposure to dilithium crystals of late appears to be causing minor time dilation problems, it seems.
No sign of your 9-15 post until 4pm today (or are you not posting that until tomorrow?).
May I suggest that Snail Space 'go commando' when he visits the site?

Eastcliff Richard said...

Apologies. I had thought the old broadbean was on the blink, but a test shows that it's more probably those blighters at blogger.com whose servermewhatsits are on a go-slow.

It's about time those millionaires at Google, who own blogger, coughed up for a new Sinclair ZX to put the whizz back in their system. Victims of their own success, perhaps.

ladytayto said...

do you think if you ask nicely they'll let you hang it in the turnip centre if/when its built?

Eastcliff Richard said...

Anthea has given me her personal assurance that it will hang in pride of place the very moment her eponymous arts venue is finished.

I am therefore proceeding directly to my attic to ensure that the likeness in the painting doesn't age. Lord knows I'd die a death if I thought there was a portrait of me aged 103 on public display.

Snailspace said...

Why on earth would I want to involve The Army

Eastcliff Richard said...

Ram Skate's talking about letting your dilithiums hang free, Snailspace old chum. Like the SAS apparently do.

Although I've never quite understood why one would want one's Niagaras dangling around willy nilly when going into armed combat.

sfdretywu said...

I hadn't realise you were talking about his testicles, I thought he was just carting them around, loose, in his knickers.
Going commando won't work then.
Maybe one of those 'electromagnetic containment fields' that they talk about on the telly, though I've no idea how much they are (I'm sure ECR will chip in).
For the comfort of other patrons, you understand. I, for one, certainly don't want to get sucked into a black hole (whether it has a big wheel or not)!

Snailspace said...

Hoots mon ye canna hae'a good scrap wi ye danglies hanginaboot.
Captain Burk Beam me up willyea.

Artyblartfast said...

That Terry Thomas gap in the front teeth is lacking. I was impressed at how well you could whistle though it.