Those pesky seagulls have been at the bin bags round the side of the house again, polishing off what was left of last night's Chateaubriand.
I am resolved to stop the blighters. I've printed out a life sized photograph of our local council leader Sandy Beach, and attached it to the fence opposite.
If that doesn't scare them off, I'll eat Elton's wig.
7 comments:
If the wig, itself, doesn't get carried off by a seagull!
Now that would be quite a sight.
People would be left wondering if we weren't being invaded by German seagulls.
Actually Elton's wig has a nice little life of its own, and would much prefer to be sunning itself beside Elton's pool in the south of France, a G&T in its hairy little hand.
I've heard that a seagulls matter to energy conversion system has no means of venting gas. So feed it alkaseltsa. The build up of gas in the matter/ energy system will reach a critical stage, at which point the creature will adopt a glazed expression then rocket skywards on a pillar of projectile poo.With luck it will make splash down somewhere mid chanel or better still in EDFs back yard
Good grief!
I do hope you people are joking about this as it goes a little beyond pulling the legs off of insects.
Beef and mustard should really only be mixed in a sandwich.
Sodium bicarbonate powder wrapped up in bread and thrown into untreated offerings has a similar gassy effect in gizzard. Richard suggest you get your cook to soak raisins in a good brandy and feed gulls. Drunk birds have problems flying.
Sodium bicarbonate powder wrapped up in bread and thrown into untreated offerings has a similar gassy effect in gizzard. Richard suggest you get your cook to soak raisins in a good brandy and feed gulls. Drunk birds have problems flying.
Ram Skate, I'm beginning to feel slightly troubled about the way in which you seem to know so much about how to set fire to, blow up, or otherwise exterminate god's creatures. You don't by any chance work for Gullbusters do you?
By the way, have you met my friend at Local Stunna Seeks Soulmate? I think you two might get along!
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