The Millionaires' Playground is the place to be this weekend! This evening sees the Summer Fiesta at our out-of-this-world East Cliff Bandstand, featuring the St Peter's Stage Band, Vocal Expressions a la Mode, and The Grumpy Gypsy (courtesy of Councillor/Doctor Doctor/Councillor Simon Moores).
And tomorrow we're holding our rip-snorting carnival, with scantily clad luvvlies parading up and down the front dressed in only the skimpiest of sequin-spangled bathing suits. Or am I getting confused with that dream I had last week? New attractions for this year's carnival are:
The Mayor Hair Bunch: Our bouffoned tonseuristas will be handing out free mayor-alike candy floss to the kiddies.
Turn The Councillor Blue: Councillor Mike Taylor, who was recently elected our first and only Ramsgate First representative, but then discovered he had 'always been a Conservative at heart', has sportingly agreed to be paraded around town on the back of a truck and pelted with rotten plums.
Guess The Weight: Plucky Thanet Council officers have volunteered to stand on the rotting Albion House balcony. All you have to do is guess how many it'll take before it collapses!
The weather, however, may not entirely play ball, with the East Cliff bash looking like fun in the sun, while the carnival might end up being a pain in the rain. If only people didn't jet off to sunnier parts and leave our traditional resorts to suffer the climate consequences, we might get our summer back!