Just back from my triumph at the Baftas having handled Harry's Bentley with style and aplomb, only once scraping it on a pesky bollard round the back of Leicester Square. I don't think he'll notice, he's as blind as a bat, and besides he'll be too euphoric to whinge after scooping a couple of gongs. Good to see Brucie getting a fellowship too, although I did catch a glimpse of 'Mr Entertainment' and I fear he ain't going to make the transition to HD TV without a lot more, er, work. The poor old fella's got more lines than a Tube map.
Speaking of 'dos', I'm told by the Standards Board for England, which oversees ethics at local councils, that its deliberations in Fannit's famous 'f*cking tosser' complaint have now concluded, and that the adjudication will be published 'within the next two weeks'. Regular readers will remember our glorious Tory leader, Sandy Beach, was alleged to have called the Mayor of Margate a 'f*cking tosser' at a black tie do in April last year, and apparently said to another Labour councillor who attempted to intervene: 'Come on, just put your face in mine.'
Word on the Ile's grubby streets is that Mr Beach may not come out of it too well, and could be forced to step down. Leaving the way open for, er... Well, maybe you'd like to make your own suggestions from the list of Dad's Army duffers who currently run the place. Or perhaps they'll go for 'new blood'? Step forward Councillor McSniggles?