I've had a leak. From our beloved council, that is. It seems that, following the recent huge hike in parking charges and the successful trial in Tunbridge Wells of talking ticket machines featuring celebrity voices, they're going to invest in similar devices here on the island. The document I have in my mits outlines a series of welcoming messages, some of them tailored to local sights, and a TDC officer appears to have scrawled comments next to some of them. Here's a selection:
Richard Eastcliff: You can't get rid of me that easily! (Not appropriate)
Lady Penelope: Parker - well done.
George Formby: Burned out nice again! (No)
Brucie: Didn't she do well? (May be objected to on sexist grounds)
Mr Humphries: I'm not free!
Harold Steptoe: You dirty old van.
Sir Alan Sugar: You're fired! (Not on Margate seafront)
Homer Simpson: Dole! (Definitely not)
Frank Spencer: Ooh! Jetty!
Hannibal (A Team): I love it when a planning application comes together. (That's enough catchphrases - Ed.)