Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Margate Blighted By 'Surf 'n' Turf Wars'?

Bit of a gear change, as we say in the trade, but rumours are rife over on the seedy north side of the island that last week's arson attack on the Tivoli Arcade was not a random occurrence.

Her Majesty's Rozzers have confirmed that two men were seen dowsing the seafront slot palace with petrol, before setting fire to it and scarpering in a blue, D-reg Volvo, which was later found burnt out a few hundred yards away in Grosvenor Place. Ten people who were in the arcade at the time escaped with their lives, and £500,000 worth of damage was caused to gaming machines.

According to today's Thanet Times, the arcade is owned by the same firm that runs the DV8 nightclub next door. And we know that David O'Leary, the businessman who was shot dead at his home in Lydden, just outside Margate, eight weeks ago was 'known to the police' and had been involved in an altercation at DV8 that very evening. Now the local Morses are putting two and two together and coming up with 'turf wars'. Or, according to another suggestion, it could even be 'Turk wars', as rival Turkish gangs slug it out over the Margate seafront patch.

Of course, there's nothing to substantiate any of this wild speculation, and the cops have specifically denied making any link between the O'Leary shooting and the Tivoli fire. But I can't help feeling that the biggest loser in all this is poor old Margate. Already on its knees, it surely doesn't deserve to be shot in the back of the head. Then set fire to. Then pissed on to put it out. Does it?


Dick Rubin said...

You could beat it with no mercy, furiously, with venim, to thrash it with comtempt until it pleads "No more!".....GRRRRRRRRRRRR. I have some internet research to do now........

Anonymous said...

Grosvenor Place ?

A D Reg Volvo.

Driven about 140 yards ?

Then burnt out ?

Sounds like an Ali G Plot.


Anonymous said...

The swine probably had another vehicle waiting in Grosvenor Place.

Anonymous said...

ECR seems to think it is all down to Johnny Foreigner.

However the close quarter car burn out is not without its Thanet precedent.

In the 1980s there was a street altercation at Westwood. A man had kicked a front door off its hinges. Then he had received a smite from the houseowner.

The smite knocked the perp on his back propelled him across the verge and wedged him between kerb and sill of perp car.

Perp extricated himself and drove off semi conscious. Smacked into the back of a parked Hillman Avenger. This belonged to two ladies who lived together and who caused some speculation as to who did what to where and to whom as they both seemed somewhat butch.

These two ladies ran into the street and pursued the perp now reversing furiously. Into a recenty restored Rover 2000.

The Rover had only been placed on road as the car restorer hobbyist had a new project and decided to risk one night with the Rover on road with no insurance, no MOT no tax.

So the chase was now joined by the irate car restorer.

The perp made good his escape and drove to A and E at Canterbury for an early assessment of facial surgery.

Police arrived and asked the wife, of the householder sans front door, whether it was safe for them to enter his home. The wife said that he is having a cup of tea at the moment but perhaps leave him alone because there is only twelve of you.

So it was that CID called two days later to announce that no charges would be brought.

The duty police satisfied themselves with doing the ladies for a parking offence and doing the car restorer for no tax no MOT no insurance.

Then they told the car restorer to get his Rover off the road.

So he drove it to Pooprhole Lane and parked it off road there.

BUT at that juncture 999 the Hypermarket service station is being robbed.

Police no further away than Grosvenor PLace to Tivoli Bingo. "Sh-t" one was heard to say. So they had to deploy to the Hypermarket service station.

The armed robbers were flabbergasted. Thanet Police on scene within minutes ? Perhaps there were Met lads on loan to the area or something.

So the armed robbers scarper in thewir getaway motor. Pursued by Thanet Police.

Into Poorhole Lane.

The enterprising robbers had a wary eye on the rear view and decided on a rear guard action. So they stopped beyond this parked Rover 2000. Ran acroos broke into it and pushed it into the path of the pursuing Thanet Police cars.

Then ... they torched it !!

And off they drove.

Leaving behind a fiery Rover 2000 roadblock to stop police pursuit.

You could not write it as fiction.

As the robbers drove out of Westwood they saw a man re-fitting his front door and two dungaree wearing butch women running in the road.

And it wasn't even 1st April

Anonymous said...

How exciting it all is!

Shinguard said...

If Thanet Council held a Margate arson Festival once a year in March all this silliness would be avoided.

It could be held at random places in the town just to get that authentic feel and this would probably attract the more professional firestarter rather than the flaming amatures that we continally see.

Anonymous said...

Fantastic idea, shinguard. "Arsfest" is on!

Anonymous said...

Great idea, you could get a grant for that! and local upstanding business men could sponsor the event, oh no, wait, hang on a minute...

Anonymous said...

We could get The Prodigy down to do 'Firestarter' for the opening!