Once again, dear reader, I have been snubbed by the National Television Awards. And not just overlooked for a gong. No. I wasn't even invited. So I had to make do with spectating tonight from the comfort of my cliff top mansion.
Still, it was good to see my old chum Sir Trev on form, and wearing full dress nipples for the bash. Either that or they'd forgotten to turn the heating on at the Royal Albert Hall!