Thursday, October 16, 2008

KCC Claws Back Shortfall With Sponsorship

Cripes! Following the loss of 50 million smackers when their assets got frozen in Iceland recently, I hear that Kent County Council are set to repair their finances by allowing commercial sponsorship of venues and place names across the county! Here are some of the changes you can look forward to:

Sandwich becomes KFC Zinger Sandwich
Deal becomes Big Mac Meal Deal
Walmer becomes Getting Much Walmer, Courtesy Of British Energy and EDF
Dover becomes P Andover
Herne Bay becomes Herne Bay Windows (Double Glazing) Ltd
Wye becomes Wyevale
Folkestone becomes Folkestoned, Courtesy Of Exotic Indoor Herbal Cultivators (Ramsgate) Ltd

Locally, we can expect to see the following:

Margate Winter Gardens becomes Margate Windows Gardens
Cliftonville Lido becomes Cliftonville Ludo
Pierremont Park becomes Perriermont Park
Palm Bay becomes Palmolive Bay
Broadstairs becomes Broad Stannah Stairlift
Thanet becomes Thanet - Home Of Chinese Globalisation

(That last one's too ridiculous for words - Ed.)

This article has NOT been approved by the Politburo.

4 comments:

Matt B said...

Just keep taking the tablets old boy.

Save Kent! said...

Ocean Spray Cranbrook Juice

Ocean Spray Canterberry Juice (Kent accent pun)

Cathedral City Mild Canterbree cheese (non-Kent accent pun)

Kelloggs Isle of Nutri-Grain

Dr Hoo Peninsula

Walkers Seasalter flavoured crisps

LanDover Freelander 2

ok, ok, I'll stop...

Millicent said...

Great article!

Why if the lunchtime news is to be believed and the world is in recession, container ships are lying idle and people are not buying goods from the far east any more do we need a China Gateway which could become a white elephant or yet another extension of Westwood Cross- help!!!

Our Leader said...

The larst wun is dedly searius u tosspot! Woger and eye hav got an ABSO teem wurkin on the sines allredy insted of waistin thyme duin up the rialings in Dain Parc. Are mates Ken and that tosser Prosser wonts'em to maik Cheerman Hao and his wurkers feel wonted wen they cum to Fannit and what Ken wants is wot we maik shore he getz.