One of my readers spotted our ruggedly handsome local council leader Sandy Beach out and about recently.
Preparing to step up to the microphone to deliver one of his gripping, four hour speeches, our Sandy has clearly received body language training from the John Wayne/Tony B/George W school of 'power standing'.
In my usual spirit of overwhelming generosity, I'm offering a bottle of bubbly from my own cellar (Waitrose) for the reader who, in the opinion of the judges (me) comes up with the best caption by the end of the week. Please limit your contributions to mocking jocularity, tempered with biting sarcasm.
To get you started, I've come up with this:
"And so, without further ado, I declare this Turner Centre... bollocks, wrong speech...
"And so, without further ado, I declare this newly revitalised amusement park... bollocks, bollocks...
"And so, without further ado, I declare this..." etc. etc.
18 comments:
"And may I thank Victoria Beckham for extending the hand of friendship to the people of Thanet"
Or
"jimmy,Is this microphone still on?
"And the topic for today is-----Bollocks"
Will someone please tell Iris to get off of that broom and walk.
This is a pedestrian zone dontchaknow.
"And so, without further ado, I declare this do I do I do I do I do I do
"I got the spent ten million quid with nothing to show for it blues- oh yeah"
"that's a big match,I hope it's a safety
"Like a briiddddge over harbour waaaters,
I willll let you dooooown."
I've decided to ignore the Independent Goverment Inspector and 400 local residents, and ask a load of schoolkids how to do my job instead!
"In light of the failure of the Dartford Park planning applications
I am going to learn from the mistakes made and make sure that all Dreamland applications go through without a hitch"
Hmm, I seem to have struck a chord. Sorry, that's not a caption, just thinking out loud.
Some very good ones so far, keep them coming!
Not interested in your plonk but I'm sure you could use the phrase 'another Beached wail'.
The tan is from a bottle madam, I do NOT spend half the year lying on a beach, not counting the missus of course.
My fellow Margatonions for the greater good of Thanet City I resign
"Sorry wrong venue. My right hand was poised ready to take part in the Masturbate-A-Thon".
For what is Margate, what has it got?
A Turner Centre? No it has not!
A lovely park for kids to play?
Not on your life, no, never, nay!
The record shows I blew my nose,
And did it my way!
And so without further ado it gives me great pleasure to declare this giant Bryant and May open.
and now for my next trick, i shall make this turner centre disappear!
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