Walking along the back streets earlier, I came across a notice in one of the shop windows imploring us Ramsgate millionaires to do whatever we can to eradicate the horrendous seagull problem round here (see ECR passim).
"Three cheers!" I thought. What should I do?
'Always keep your rubbish bags in a plastic, bird proof bin.' Sensible.
'Only bring out your rubbish bags on the morning of collection.' Hurrah.
'Once you've brought your rubbish bags out onto the pavement, spray them with cheap bleach. This will deter the seagulls from pecking them open.'
Good advice. Most of the seagulls in the Millionaires' Playground have developed such expensive tastes that spraying our rubbish bags with a premium bleach like Domestos would only introduce them to a whole new flavour experience.