Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Clot To Trot

Sitting here in my five star hotel in Swiss Cottage last night, I happened to catch a glimpse of 'Only Fools On Horses'. Which spotty herbert at the BBC dreamt that one up? Poor old Angus Deayton looks like he's having about as much fun as if he were watching Messrs Hislop and Merton deliver his funeral oration.

The way these people dream up these programmes these days. "Oh, that would be a clever title for a show. Now, let's see, what would it be about?"

It's so simple, even I can do it:

Only Tools And Courses - ten Z-list celebrities compete to win the title of Plumber Of The Year
Only Jewels And Houses - ten Z-list celebrities compete to win the title of Burglar Of The Year
Lonely Mules And Horses - ten Z-list celebrities compete to win the title of Donkey Breeder Of The Year
Cannon And Ball - after a period of intense training, Bobby Ball is actually fired out of Tommy Cannon's backside. Kills two Z-list celebrities with one stone.

I mean, what a load of old pony. Anyway, moustache now, as I'm due on location in Hampstead.

6 comments:

adem said...

It annoys me when new sitcoms come out and they've obviously thought of a witty title before actually thinking of the concept of the show.

e.g. "Ball's to the Lott of you" - Witness the hilarity of the Lott family, who also play with ... balls?

It's usually something lame like that.

Lucy Mail said...

I quite fancy "In for a penny, in for a pound", where pennies are strategically placed on the street and, as people bend to pick them up, someone jumps out and whacks them on the back of the head with a big foam mallet.
Hour upon hour of hilarity there!

ladytayto said...

imagine the disappointment of millions when they tune in and alas! Del Boy is nowhere to be seen! same thing happened to me :(

Anonymous said...

How about 'Only fools and horses', about a bloke who drives around in a Robin rellient trying to flog hooky gear? sounds like a winner to me

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