Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Caption Competition


One of my readers spotted our ruggedly handsome local council leader Sandy Beach out and about recently.

Preparing to step up to the microphone to deliver one of his gripping, four hour speeches, our Sandy has clearly received body language training from the John Wayne/Tony B/George W school of 'power standing'.

In my usual spirit of overwhelming generosity, I'm offering a bottle of bubbly from my own cellar (Waitrose) for the reader who, in the opinion of the judges (me) comes up with the best caption by the end of the week. Please limit your contributions to mocking jocularity, tempered with biting sarcasm.

To get you started, I've come up with this:

"And so, without further ado, I declare this Turner Centre... bollocks, wrong speech...

"And so, without further ado, I declare this newly revitalised amusement park... bollocks, bollocks...

"And so, without further ado, I declare this..." etc. etc.

21 comments:

Dane Valley Ted said...

"And may I thank Victoria Beckham for extending the hand of friendship to the people of Thanet"

Dane Valley Ted said...

Or
"jimmy,Is this microphone still on?

Dane Valley Ted said...

"And the topic for today is-----Bollocks"

Snailspace said...

Will someone please tell Iris to get off of that broom and walk.
This is a pedestrian zone dontchaknow.

Benny, Stig, Bjorn said...

"And so, without further ado, I declare this do I do I do I do I do I do

Eddie Hitler said...

"I got the spent ten million quid with nothing to show for it blues- oh yeah"

J.G Burns said...

"that's a big match,I hope it's a safety

Anonymous said...

"Like a briiddddge over harbour waaaters,
I willll let you dooooown."

Artyblartfast said...

"Somethings gone dreadfully wrong with this Jazz Festival- we spent money on it and something actually happened."

Anonymous said...

I've decided to ignore the Independent Goverment Inspector and 400 local residents, and ask a load of schoolkids how to do my job instead!

J.G.Burns said...

"In light of the failure of the Dartford Park planning applications
I am going to learn from the mistakes made and make sure that all Dreamland applications go through without a hitch"

Eastcliff Richard said...

Hmm, I seem to have struck a chord. Sorry, that's not a caption, just thinking out loud.

Some very good ones so far, keep them coming!

sfdretywu said...

It's time to get this town back on its' feet ladies and gentlemen, so we'll be arranging to have all the nasty people moved on to the next devaluation project shortly and let's watch our properties soar in value... bollocks, wrong speech!

sfdretywu said...

Unleashed, it sticks out this far.

Anonymous said...

Not interested in your plonk but I'm sure you could use the phrase 'another Beached wail'.

Lucy Mail said...

The tan is from a bottle madam, I do NOT spend half the year lying on a beach, not counting the missus of course.

Anonymous said...

My fellow Margatonions for the greater good of Thanet City I resign

Anonymous said...

"Sorry wrong venue. My right hand was poised ready to take part in the Masturbate-A-Thon".

frank sinatra said...

For what is Margate, what has it got?
A Turner Centre? No it has not!
A lovely park for kids to play?
Not on your life, no, never, nay!
The record shows I blew my nose,
And did it my way!

Anonymous said...

And so without further ado it gives me great pleasure to declare this giant Bryant and May open.

Anonymous said...

and now for my next trick, i shall make this turner centre disappear!