Yes, dear reader, even I've had to curtail my Saville Row splurges, what with my assets shrinking and my credit being all crunchified. So it was that yesterday I found myself at M&S over in Westworld Chaos trying on a £100 suit. Really, it shouldn't happen to a celeb of my standing.
However, I thought I'd make the best of a bad job by doing some research. I asked this question of every shop assistant I encountered: 'Been busy over the last few weeks?' Without exception I got a shrug of the shoulder and a clear indication that it's as quiet as a church proverbial over there when it comes to flashing the cash. Plenty of lookers. Not many buyers.
So I therefore declare that the place is officially in a downturn/recession. And only a fistal stimulus of titanic proportions from our local government will save the place from going the way of Iceland. Well, if that Robert Peston can make a name for himself by doom mongering, I don't see why I should miss out!