Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Cars But No Cash At WWX

Yes, dear reader, even I've had to curtail my Saville Row splurges, what with my assets shrinking and my credit being all crunchified. So it was that yesterday I found myself at M&S over in Westworld Chaos trying on a £100 suit. Really, it shouldn't happen to a celeb of my standing.

However, I thought I'd make the best of a bad job by doing some research. I asked this question of every shop assistant I encountered: 'Been busy over the last few weeks?' Without exception I got a shrug of the shoulder and a clear indication that it's as quiet as a church proverbial over there when it comes to flashing the cash. Plenty of lookers. Not many buyers.

So I therefore declare that the place is officially in a downturn/recession. And only a fistal stimulus of titanic proportions from our local government will save the place from going the way of Iceland. Well, if that Robert Peston can make a name for himself by doom mongering, I don't see why I should miss out!


Michael Child said...

Richard I have been I book retailing for over 30 years and have a fair idea of how bookshops are doing, I have looked at the two big book retailers at WC on numerous occasions and to be honest I am totally baffled. I can’t see any way they could ever be profitable, in fact their only achievement seems to have been to cause the demise of Albion Bookshops, I am certain that they must decamp soon leaving Margate and Broadstairs without bookshops.

Suppose the floor area devoted to new bookselling at WC is 20 times that previously in Thanet, how could anyone assume that Thanet people would suddenly start buying 20 times more books.

If you apply that notion to some of the other retailers up there and combine that with the fact that the road and parking infrastructure limit the amount of people who can actually get to the shops there, I think that there is probably a very serious problem.

Anonymous said...

If you read the BBC website earlier you will se that tomorrow (Thursday 20 Nov) M&S stores are knocking 20 per cent off everything for one day only in a pre-Xmas sale. Should get the stores busy and you can afford that £100 suit after all! I'm sure you'll look very dapper, just watch out the sleeves don't ride up with wear!

Eastcliff Richard said...

Other retailers are available. In fact Debenhams are doing a 20% off too. Oh joy.

Anonymous said...

Interesting to see in the Fannit Times that WWX is going to have it's own 2 policemen!

Can't find any in the towns when you need them but nice to see that a private shopping centre is so well covered!

Lucy Mail said...

I notice that they have an offer on in S&M (Pillow Talk, Margate) where if you buy one of their vibrators this month, they'll throw another one in for free!
Not only is that 50% off, but I'd also say it's taking 'after-sales service' to a hole new level!

Tony Beachcomber said...

Any offers on the batteries, Lucy.

Anonymous said...

The first B.O.G.O.F. ever to bring tears to your eyes!

Anonymous said...

What, a shop still open in Margate!
I see that boomtown Bob has pulled out of turning on the Margate xmas light. So will it get turned on? What kind of dosh are TDC paying for this?

Anonymous said...

Mikie, a word to the wise, I used to live a stones throw from Charing Cross road, where many fantastic book shops have survived for centuries. The ones who are doing really well are knocking out drugs on the sly. I once saw this dapper gent come in and ask for 'delia smith's special book of recipies' and I watched as he was covertly handed 2 rocks of crack and 10 bag of heroin (My 7 year-old tells me it's called a 'Pete Doherty Special')

I'm sure this approach would work well in Thanet where the only people making big money are the drug dealers and poisoners.

As well as making you rich behond your wildest dreams, it may get the teenagers of thanet reading something other than summons's.

Anonymous said...

That's all very well, but what if they were to make drug dealing illegal? The poor little buggers would be back to square one with the summonses, wouldn't they!

Anonymous said...

Geldof backed out eh? That's made my day.

The Angina Monologues said...

I see the governement have gone back on their plan to allow Viagra to be sold over the counter. Rotten spoilsports.

Nige said...

Allegedly, Sildenafil Citrate can be knocked up on the kitchen table by a half decent chemist. So if Michael were to coat his books with the stuff, sales wouldn't be the only thing on the up ;)


Helen said...

I doubt drugs will ever be made illegal, one would have incarcerate everyone from Cliftonville to Christchurch College Cambridge if that were the case.

Imagine how dull the council meetings would be if most people there weren't off their heads on ketamine, cannabis and coke?

No, Michael, take the good advice, get some drugs to sell with your books. Maybe start by sticking the odd acid 'tab' (my six year old assures me that's what they're called)between the pages of books. Start with english poetry and then put some amphetamine in War and Peace, to keep the reader focussed. And then stick some ecstasy at the back of Pain Wenham Jones's books to reward the reader for pressing on to the end.

Lucy Mail said...

With a sign over the door, inviting people in for a good weed?
You may even consider starting up speed reading classes, Mikey?

anonanon said...

Oh Lucy, you are so juicy
but it's hard to see
what you'll in me
as I've got no drugs
only sugar puffs
to inspire this rhyme

please give me a line

Anonymous said...

WWX was rammed this morning (Sunday).