Only in your super, soaraway Eastcliff Richard! Each week top Thanet politician Sandy Beach gives us his insight into the island!!!
Effin' Ada! That bloomin' Standards Board thing was a right balls up! Some bastards said I was offensive. Bastards! Offensive? I'll give them effin' offensive! Tossers!!!
Socialists? Bastards more like. Bleedin' us poor bleeders dry, ain't they? Fannit says on yer effin' bike yer bastard socialist wankers.
Look wot we done for Fannit. Margit's bleedin' marvellous, ain't it? Ramsgit's go' a loada boats. Bleedin' kushti. 'Ad a pint in Broadstairs the uvver day. Smashin'.
Dreamland eh? F*ckin' 'ell.
That's enough diary - Ed.