Vote For A Fair Change For All In Britain

So, the Lib Dems have a porn star standing for them (fnarr), and have announced their election slogan today: 'Change that works for you. Building a fairer Britain.' Hmm. Almost as snappy as a Daily Mail headline.

Of course, with the election only a few weeks off they're not the only major party to have sprinkled their bumf with Obama dust. The Tories have got 'Vote for Change'. However, Our Gordon Master and his gang have eschewed the C-word and gone for 'One eye's better than none.' Oh, no, er, sorry, 'A fairer future for all'. Speaking purely from a complexion point of view, with all this talk of 'fair' both the Lib Dem and Labour slogans could also be the BNP slogan if you think about it.

Locally, though, these rallying cries will need a bit of tweaking. Certainly 'Vote for change' would work well in Roger Gale's Norf Fannit manor, as 27 years of the old duffer is probably more than enough for anyone. Here in the sarf, the Tories could try 'Not all blondes are dumb'. Labour's Steve Ladyman, whose constant droning about the importance of the airport to the local economy has frankly given me the poojabs, should go with 'Red bull gives you wings'.

And how about the environmental lobby sexing themselves up and losing the bamboo sandals and hemp undercrackers image with 'Eat your Greens'? Finally, let us not forget UKIP commands a lot of support in these parts. Anyone for 'Still fighting WWII'?