Monday, March 29, 2010

Top Of The Popes

with the Bishop of Thanet, The Right Reverend Harry Piehole

'Is the Pope a Catholic?' is a question I'm often asked, to which the answer has got to be 'Yes'. Although more recently the question has taken a slightly different form, with many of my flock asking me 'Is the Pope a paedophile?' To which the answer has almost certainly got to be 'No'.

Walking along one of our island's glorious beaches at the weekend, it was hard not to be reminded of Our Lord Godden's work. Empty buildings covered in graffiti, boarded up shops, and deserted amusement parks, peopled only by pit bulls and feckless youths sporting ugly tattoos.

In this Holy Week, let us pray that we soon find the courage to rectify these things, and that our once proud cities regain their status as the bustling seaside resorts of yesteryear, with the happy sound of laughing families pouring their ten pence pieces mindlessly into one-armed bandits, or attempting to mow down complete strangers on the 'dodge 'ems'.

It is true that Our Lord works in mysterious ways, and by providing us with jet propelled aeroplanes, he has given us the means with which we can warm our planet up, thus ensuring our climate here on the island becomes more like that of Benidorm so we won't need to go there any more.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

The question you should ask is this:

is the Pope still infallible?

I was always led to believe that he was but I presume doing wrong before he became Pope was ok since he could confess. Its strange to me that all you have to do is confess and it makes it right.

Anonymous said...

HA ha . very funny ECR. I larfed.

Anonymous said...

Jesus wants me for a rockery

Anonymous said...

Jesus wants me for an investment

Richard Eastcliff said...

Fatwah? Fat chance! Look at all the publicity Salman got from his. And all he had to do was hire four armed bodyguards to go everywhere with him for the rest of his life.

Fat Kev would kill for the work!

Anonymous said...

You have to wonder why Catholic schools are so popular with parents.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Richard Eastcliff said...

Whilst I agree with your sentiment Anon Again, I'm not sure the, er, gentleman you mentioned, or his lawyers, would appreciate the comparison!

marry said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sister Assumpta said...

Feck off, yer spamming eejit!

Anonymous said...

anon again!
Sorry, do you think 'JG is to Thanet what AH was to the Jews'
might have been more suitable?