Cripes! Those rotters over on the West Cliff have nicked our jazz festival! The swinging sensation has been held at our very own super-duper, out of this world East Cliff bandstand here in the Millionaires' Playground for the past two years. This year, though, it'll be held in Spencer Square, which as we all know is a den of iniquity inhabited only by a few seedy barrister, journo and City slicker types. Kuh!
Mind you, I must say that, given the icy force 10 blasts that blow across our once-crumbling cliff here in the east, the most appropriate kind of wind instrument is not so much a clarinet as an anemometer. And considering that the biggest part of last year's audience was probably one man and his poodle 70 miles away in Belgium, you can't really blame them, can you?