An anonymous caller has rung to inform me that 'certain people' have decided that I'm 'bad for the island' because I'm 'projecting the wrong image'.
Apparently the main gripe is that my humble jottings rank highly when you're searching in Google for things like:
Sandy Beach Pleasurama
Margate Giant Arse
The same 'certain people' have also suggested that I close my blog and get out of town if I know what's good for me. So taking the rather obvious hint, yesterday I fired up the old TT and went on the hunt for alternative seaside properties.
First stop was Hastings, where I viewed this quaint little pied-a-terre:
Not bad. Trouble is, Hastings is a bit shabby, and their lido is now a car park. It's a shame, as I was rather hoping that I could spend some quality time watching men with wooden legs set fire to themselves and dive off the high board into the deep end.
More luck in Great Yarmouth, though, where the Hippodrome still puts on a show involving scantily-clad ladies swimming around in a pool full of ping-pong balls. This place is on for 500 grand, and has terrific sea views:
Still not my cup of tea, though. It's the priciest thing they've got, and to tell you the truth 'Great Yarmouth - The New Half-Millionaires' Playground' doesn't quite have the same ring, does it?