End Of An ERA

With millionaires steadily deserting Ramsgate's sunny East Cliff for the artificially warmer climes of the Arsonists' Playground, it appears that the local residents' association has gone down the gurgler.

Which is a shame, as the ERA was instrumental in tarting up the area, not least by installing lovely girls on the Festival of Britain fountain on the front!

Still, it's not all doom and gloom, as there are still many civic-minded souls emailing me daily with their thoughts, discoveries and issues here on the trendy east side of town. So I've pulled together a round-up of the latest news, and called it The Round-Up Of The Latest East Cliff News!

A spate of graffiti has recently affected the East Cliff...

Apparently the Duffers' finest have been alerted and their crack team of graffiti removalists will be on the case soon.

One of the tykes that threw stones and smashed the glass in our lovely, restored shelter has apparently fessed up to the cozzers, and will no doubt spend the rest of his life in clink.

Finally, the pulhamite on the Grade II listed Winterstoke rock gardens is cracking...

This is apparently due to neglected, overgrown trees and mature shrubs, as the rocks and terraces were only intended to hold small plants.

Mind you, I was in Boredstares yesterday, now there's a place that really is looking shabby!

And that's The Round-Up Of The Latest East Cliff News!

Gimme Shelter

Or more appropriately 'gawd gimme strength', as the rubber-lipped one also no doubt intoned at some point.

According to reader Ben, this damage was done to one of the recently restored shelters here on the East Cliff yesterday afternoon. The vandals were apparently four nippers, aged around nine or ten, who were, er, getting satisfaction out of heaving stones at the shelter.

The rozzers were called and some names have been taken, let's hope they don't have any sympathy for the little devils. (That's enough Rolling Stones tracks - Ed.)

I had been meaning praise the restoration of these Victorian edifices (14 in all along our lovely front), which the Ramsgate Society supervised having won a £500K grant from the Townscape Heritage Initiative. My picture below shows their previous, parlous state, back in ye olden days (2007), after they'd spent a number of years being neglected by that other gang of mindless vandals, Thanet Council.

What's The Crack?

Forget 2012! This piece of work from our beloved council looks as if it'll barely make it to 2010!

I hope our local, crusading biblio-bloke Michael Child doesn't mind me purloining the photo he took this morning of the, er, 'newly renovated' cliff face behind the Ramsgate Royal Sands (Pleasurama in old money) development.

After more than three years of 'temporary' Heras fencing, our crumbling East Cliff was tarted up only last year in readiness for the imminent construction of the long awaited, ribbed-rubber-roofed condominium, the plans of which famously show people's heads embedded in concrete, and no escape routes should the planets align (in accordance with some ancient Mayan myth), causing sea levels to rise 29,000 feet. Work on building the condom itself has just been delayed yet again until 2011, putting the Pleasurama eyesore in its 13th glorious year.

I mean, this new cliff face has only been up there a matter of 18 months, and it's already cracked to buggery! The flippin' Mayans (to continue the theme) managed to bung up stuff that's still there 2,000 years later! As council taxpayers, we forked out around a million sovs for this. Not to mention the millions the Thanet Reich has let the developer drop his bond by. If you ask me, it's the Cecil Square duffers who have dropped their Bonds and allowed themselves to be shafted right up the crack by whoever carried out this bloody atrocious cliff facelift!

And speaking of pants, yes I did hobble out to Westwood Vue to take in the new Roland Emmerich blockbuster 2012 last night, as you may have already guessed. In fact it was beyond pants, more like utter gusset. But then I thought the same of his other end of the world movies, Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow when I first saw them at the flicks. And d'you know what? Having now watched them both something like 23 times on ITV4, I'm almost coming around to liking them!

Click here for more cliff complaints and photos on Michael's blog

One Up, One Down

Regular contributor Samantha writes:

I was pleased to see Mears joiners working on behalf of Thanet Council finally reinstating the boundary to Granville Court behind Victoria Parade in Ramsgate last week (see photo attached). It has taken months to get the council to clear this site and replace the hoarding around it after it became dangerously dilapidated and a magnet for fly tippers. Well done TDC (at last)!

And there's another cheer for TDC from reader Brian who sent in this shot of our once-crumbling East Cliff:

As you can see, most of the 'temporary' Heras fencing has been removed. And it only took three years, three months and three days! In fact it had been there so long that this is the first time I've had the pleasure of peering at the prom in its full, un-Herassed glory, as I only DFLed to the Millionaires' Playground at the start of 2006.

I'm tempted to dispense with the 'temporary' fencing counter-uppy thingo on my sidebar, which is currently registering 1,170 days. But then not all the fencing has disappeared, and there are one or two spots of it erupting further up. And a substantial patch has recently burst out along Royal Parade on the west side. Rather like acne really. Whaddya think? Should I stop counting? Or are happy days here again?

The White Cliffs Of Ramsgate

With the red veil slowly being lifted from our once crumbling, now repaired Eastcliff here in the Cannes of Kent to reveal our answer to Dover's proverbials, Chief O'Donnell of Ramsgate First writes:

I went down to see the partial unveiling of the cliff face on Ramsgate front yesterday. It looks very white, bright and clean and on a sunny day should give us all snow blindness. Still mustn’t carp. It's not for the likes of us (ratepayers) anyway – it will mostly be covered up by the new carbuncle that SFP (Whoever) Ltd might, perhaps, build there thanks to the obliging and cynical old ruling junta on TDC.

The railings on the cliff-top look very bright and shiny too. Unfortunately they end abruptly and unevenly exactly at the point above where the new flats that might be built by SFP (Wherever) Ltd will end. Coincidence? Having restored over 750 feet of path, railings and cliff face they should have finished the job and continued to the Augusta steps – another 150 feet at most. And it looks like an unfinished job and that, of course, is par for the gang from the North Side Chapter of Thanet – the Conswervative Cowboys. It will become a monument to their monumental cynicism.

In the meantime what will happen if the housing market continues to fall in value? SFP (Whatever) Ltd could be left with unsold apartments for years. Will they defer the build until house prices rise sufficiently to make this ugly carbuncle viable again? If so can we look forward to another five years of an empty site? Probably. It could only happen in Thanet.

Gerry, as ever, not holding any punches there. I'd have to add that I do trust my council tax won't be going up when they have to repaint it in a few years' time for the benefit of the Titanic's residents. I wonder how long before it's covered in graffiti?

East Cliff Reopened By Little Old Lady

Hurrah! At long last the barricades have been torn down and millionaires are now free to roam at will along our once crumbling, now repaired cliff top! Well, er, actually it appears to have been an act of defiance by one of the local grans, who's clearly been taking her iron tablets:

Either that or Her Madge (gawd bless 'er) had been booked to do the honours. Didn't spot any corgis, though.

Meanwhile, regular contributor Steve has also been out and about this afternoon, and sent me the latest piccies of the Western Undercliff (unofficial) lorry park via his mobile:


As you can see, the trucks have parked where there should only be cars, so the cars have been forced to park where there should only be grass. Our beloved council have recently, er, parked a scheme to prevent this situation, caused by foreign (and hence 'untouchable') truckers waiting for the ferry, by erecting lorry-unfriendly bollards. Instead their new masterplan is to have a 'three month monitoring period'. Yes, of course, 'monitoring' it will make all the difference, won't it!

Bend It Like A Contractor

Tooling along our crumbling East Cliff here in the Millionaires' Playground yesterday I was pleasantly surprised to see TDC's contractors installing the new, permanent (hallelujah!) cliff top fencing in readiness for reopening. And that on a bank holiday!

Not such a pleasant surprise, however, was seeing the state of the give way sign at the top of Marina Road which appears to have, er, given way to one of their vehicles. I presume Kent Highways' contractors will now have to come along and straighten it up. Still, in the words of the late, great, lovely Flanders and Swann 'it all makes work for the working man to do'. Unless, of course, it's designed to be a new, Pisa-like tourist initiative. There again, The Leaning Give Way Sign Of Ramsgate doesn't quite have the same ring, does it?

The Red Cliffs Of Ramsgate

Reader Roger writes:

What with the ongoing work on our crumbling East Cliff here in Ramsgate, and the large number of parakeets that inhabit the area, I have been inspired to re-write the lyrics of that old, wartime classic The White Cliffs of Dover. I enclose some sample verses. Would you be able to pass them on to your old showbiz pal Dame Vera Lynn?

There'll be green birds for sure mate
On the Red Cliffs of Ramsgate
Tomorrow
Just you wait and see

There'll be crap apartments
Small as railway compartments
Tomorrow
Just down by the sea

There'll be builders' lorries
And more dog borries
Tomorrow
Just you wait and see

Hmm. Not sure it's quite the thing for Vera, but I'll run it by her.

The Truck Stops Here

Now that those blighters at the council have put up parking charges, I presume they're using the additional income to sort out the problem of lorries illegally camping on Ramsgate's swish Western Undercliff. Which is, perhaps, why they've started parking on the Eastern, um, Overcliff.

Oh well, who cares? It's a much better day than yesterday, and the old Eastcliff Mater and Pater are driving down from Kensington for lunch and a tour of the (building) sites. If you recall, it was thanks to their stalwart disregard for parental devotion that I became the 'middle class, patronising pratt... who feel he has to explain things to the people of Thanet because we're too thick to understand current events' that you all know and love today! Hurrah!

All Go(ne) Ramsgate!

It's all go (or gone) here on Ramsgate's trendy East Cliff! Concrete mixers for the repairs to our crumbling cliff face:

Diggers building a magic new roundabout:

Demolition men... oops, sorry, I mean conservation types restoring what's left of our Marina Cafe:

Careful with that, lads! It's got to go back exactly how it was now:

Even Gerry O'Ramsgate's getting around to painting out that objectionable yellow stripe on Ronnie Corbett's teeny-tiny kiosk:

Job (half) done!

Illuminating Stuff

I see the workmen repairing our crumbling East Cliff here in Ramsgate have had it away with the fascia from one of our last remaining, albeit defunct, illuminations. The arch of lights over this cheeky chappy used to light up in sequence to give the impression that he was juggling his balls. These days the only ball juggling you're likely to witness is at the offices of our beloved local council.

Thanks to regular contributor Millicent, however, there may be a solution. She's pointed out that Blackpool's go-ahead council is auctioning off a whole heap of its illuminations to make way for super-duper new lighting. Items being flogged off include genies with lamps, seahorses and seashells, and a 60 foot, illuminated replica of Thunderbird 3. Estimates range from a measly £50-£350.

Blackpool Illuminations still attract 3.5m visitors a year. With a bit of a whip round, we could put Ramsgate back on the seaside map!

Click here for full story on BBC website

Fence Of A Thousand Days

As you can see from my counter-uppy thingo opposite, the 'temporary' Heras fencing along our crumbling East Cliff has now been in place for 1000 days. But did you know that when it was first erected:

- Shoes were a novelty, having just been introduced to England by Sir Walter Raleigh
- Only three years earlier the first steam engine was invented by George IV
- Tea was the principle currency of Belgium

Work has now started on repairing the cliff, although rumour has it that this might take nine months to complete. Meanwhile there has been a suggestion from regular contributor Millicent that we all go down there and hold a candlelight vigil. Picture that - a thousand candles perched on the cliff edge! No, on second thoughts perhaps not. Their weight might just tip the balance

Concrete Progress

Strolling along the front this afternoon, I was stopped in my tracks by the startling sight of actual real work being carried out to repair our long-crumbling East Cliff. The 'temporary' Heras fencing (995 days and counting) has been repositioned to block off the entire cliff top:

And scaffolding now graces the cliff face:

Three cheers (Surely 'three years'? - Ed.) for Thanet District Council!

Work Starts On Cliff's Long-Overdue Facelift

Well, if you can call two blokes with hi-vis vests and a can of DayGlo spray paint 'work'. They appeared to be marking out a dotted line a few feet back from the current crumbling cliff face, presumably with a view to chopping along it at a later date with an enormous pair of pneumatic scissors.

To be fair there was also a JCB scraping off a layer of crud from the surface of the Pleasurama eyesore below, but I shan't be removing the counteriserometer from my sidebar in a hurry. It's already clocked up nearly 1000 days since the temporary, Heras fencing was erected. What's the betting it'll clock up 1000 more?

Trucking Hell

Apologies for the hiatus but I had to pop into A&E a couple of days ago. It was only a stubbed toe, but during the wait in reception I was exposed to an entire episode of Deal or No Deal, and consequently succumbed to that bloody awful Noelovirus. I haven't been able to stray more than a few yards from a lavatory for the last 48 hours.

So there's a fair amount of correspondence to catch up with. Let's start with this email from reader Samantha:

I photographed these tractor units (see above) parked on the East Cliff yesterday. There used to be one, but now there are regularly two parked there. I always thought it was illegal to park these things on residential roads. Of course nothing will ever be done about it as parking and vehicles are never policed around here apart from the occasional blitz on tax dodgers. What's the point of the area having conservation status when people can get away with this sort of thing?

Is there no room for these things to be parked down at the port where they belong? Or are the owners just too cheapskate to pay for that? By the way, the units purport to belong to a Belgian company called Eurolines, based in Zeebrugge.

I agree Samantha, these things are a blot on our architecturally stunning Ramsgate landscape. Maybe it's time for our caff-crushing, car-crushing councillor Dave Green to diversify into a spot of, um, cab-crushing!

East Cliff Scores A Hatrick!

According to regular contributor Millicent it was a straight 1-2-3 for our swinging East Cliff at the Ramsgate Society Town Image Awards 2007 today!

The top gong was handed out to our newly revamped, super-duper, out-of-this-world bandstand, with Miles' Bar on the front runner-up, and the new sheltered housing development at the bottom of Thanet Road third. Hurrah!

There was one serious omission, however. Namely why in the name of everything that's holy wasn't the East Cliff's most famous resident invited to the glitzfest? It's not every day I get to go to a slap-up do at our luxury, 12 star San Clu Comfort Inn y'know. Kuh!

Get Noticed!

Once again I'm indebted to regular contributor Mr X, this time for a snapshot of a notice he noticed.

Talking of noticing, am I the only one to have noticed that the 'temporary' fencing (948 days and counting) along our crumbling East Cliff has grown a bit recently? Is this what the Uranians mean by regeneration? I think we should be told!

Meanwhile a reader revelling in the moniker Oh Little Town of Birchington has sent me details of the new Ann Summers iGasm device, which plugs into your iPod and tickles your, er, fancy in time to the music. Apparently it's got iPod makers Apple all hot and steamy under their matching cuffs and collars. Ann Summers don't say whether it comes in multiple packs, but apparently it does carry a warning not to listen to Rimsky-Korsakov's Flight of the Bumblebee in the workplace or other public areas. Now that really would get you noticed!

Frustrated readers can click here for details of the iGasm.

The Hole Truth

Crumbs! Or should I say crumbling? This hole has appeared over the last few days on our crumbling East Cliff. Having spotted a contractor's van parked in the vicinity last week, with a few council types milling around, I assume that it's part of the tendering process for the repairs.

Still, I'm not about to remove the counteriser-ometer from my sidebar just yet. 905 days and counting since the temporary fencing was erected. What's the betting we make 1000?

Thanet Council In YouTube Boob

Holy server errors! Pootling around the internet just now, I spied Thanet Council's competition (Prop.: B. Iggles) to find photos and videos of the Ile as part of their 'Thanet Is Beautiful' campaign. Their trailer on YouTube, a rather ham-fisted affair notable only for a soundtrack by Rochester's Hammond organ virtuoso James Taylor, has so far received a paltry 23 hits in the ten days it's been up. And they've only managed to recruit one group member, er, themselves.

Frankly, what they require is a TV genius like me to liven the competition up a bit. So it was with the best of intentions (honestly guv) that I attempted to join their BoobTube group and upload some of the videos that Mr Ceaucescu (no relation) has created for ECR TV.

At that point the mystery of why they only have themselves to look at was solved, with the screen of my old Del Boy laptop filled from top to toe with the above gobbledygook. Kuh! Amateurs! Nonetheless, I did manage to submit the photograph below which I took last year. Do you think I'll win the 500 smackers?

Got The Painters In 2

Many thanks to my spies for providing a full report of last night's Eastcliff Residents' Association meeting with the Pleasurama developers (see previous post). The architects, developers and builders were all represented, along with the estate agent and a couple of chaps from TDC (Brian White and Doug Brown). Here are the, er, highlights:

Brian White started saying planning consent had been given but the detail that had been revisited was the final roof design and the material finish – we were shown a piece of grey material which will be on the roof. It was pointed out that residents had not been consulted about the roof changes.

There is money this year to repair the cliff face – but from what was said they seem to be going to remove quite a chunk too. Coping will be put back in place. Epoxy resin coating in light grey colour. Tenders go out next Wednesday.

Knights (the builders) will be on site from next Monday starting traffic changes in Harbour Parade – hope to have meeting soon with local traders and contractors to consult re how to deal with inevitable disturbance. Lady from Playbay asked re parking spaces for her customers – they had not been told work would start Monday. Waffly answer meant in reality they won’t have any spaces. A question was asked about whether there would be hoarding along the cliff top once the repairs had been effected, Knights replied that waist high railings would be sufficient for site protection.

107 apartments, 60 bed hotel, restaurant, shops etc. “virtually” at existing level. Environment Agency say it should be 5.5m above sea level but in fact is 6.05 m. In the event of a 1953 style flood the retail on the ground floor would flood but the apartments would be OK. Height has been “depressed”. Explained roof gardens etc. Spaces for 184 cars on site i.e. 1 car per appartment, 1 car per hotel room plus 17 spare for traders – none for visitors. Said this was going to be a “stunning development” that will regenerate the town. Terence Painter said there was lots of interest - one hotel chain was on the point of signing but they were still talking with others. Will take 2.5 years to complete.

Geoff Woods asked if SFP Ventures (the developer) would be willing to support bandstand project financially – Terence Painter said he was willing to discuss it.

Jocelyn McCarthy asked about which route all the building lorries would take into town – the reply was twisted to mean just site access but that was not what Jocelyn asked. Terence P said there was a meeting next week to discuss this. Gerry O’Ramsgate asked again about the effect on the harbour traders during two and a half years of building works – said their concerns were not really being taken seriously (applause).

Other points which came up during the meeting were that the Marina Restaurant is to be redeveloped, space for traditional seaside entertainments and amusements in the new Pleasurama development is a commercial rather than a planning issue, flat owners will not have a clause in their lease preventing complaints about music at the bandstand (following the recent complaints from flat owners about music from the bandstand in Cliftonville).

Peter Landi rounded off the meeting very succinctly saying he was horrified that they (the developers and council) had come to the meeting so ill-prepared. Were the council aware of the extent of the tunnels under the East Cliff? He lived on the East Cliff during the war and remembers the vibrations from the bombs and anti-aircraft guns and was not sure the cliff was going to stand all the work just about to be done to it.

The general feeling was that residents had not been consulted even though work is supposed to start on Monday. No definite plans are in place for site access and lorries through the town. No guarantee of safe access to the beach. Not enough parking places – Doug Brown went off at a complete tangent claiming it was political to assume people would use cars less in future and raving on about walking buses to schools which had nothing whatsoever to do with the evening’s topic.