End Of An ERA

With millionaires steadily deserting Ramsgate's sunny East Cliff for the artificially warmer climes of the Arsonists' Playground, it appears that the local residents' association has gone down the gurgler.

Which is a shame, as the ERA was instrumental in tarting up the area, not least by installing lovely girls on the Festival of Britain fountain on the front!

Still, it's not all doom and gloom, as there are still many civic-minded souls emailing me daily with their thoughts, discoveries and issues here on the trendy east side of town. So I've pulled together a round-up of the latest news, and called it The Round-Up Of The Latest East Cliff News!

A spate of graffiti has recently affected the East Cliff...

Apparently the Duffers' finest have been alerted and their crack team of graffiti removalists will be on the case soon.

One of the tykes that threw stones and smashed the glass in our lovely, restored shelter has apparently fessed up to the cozzers, and will no doubt spend the rest of his life in clink.

Finally, the pulhamite on the Grade II listed Winterstoke rock gardens is cracking...

This is apparently due to neglected, overgrown trees and mature shrubs, as the rocks and terraces were only intended to hold small plants.

Mind you, I was in Boredstares yesterday, now there's a place that really is looking shabby!

And that's The Round-Up Of The Latest East Cliff News!

Mincers By The Sea

I see there's a Bandstand Bazaar being held here on Ramsgate's trendy, award winning East Cliff this Saturday. It'll feature carol singing, affordable arts and crafts, a Christmas light parade (eh?) and a fire sculpture finale. Although that last one's taking a bit of a risk in these parts if you ask me.

We're also promised mulled wine, beer, hot snacks and mince pies, so that and the old cashmere thermals should keep the Arctic blasts at bay. And there'll be mistletoe! So if your fantasy has always been a quick snog with our local caff-crushing, car-crushing councillor Dave Green, or the lovely Mrs caff-crushing, car-crushing councillor Elizabeth Green, now's your chance. Festivities start at midday.

I've also received an invitation from the delightful Mrs Gaddfather of Ale to tonight's Eastcliff Residents' Association Festive Quiz at Albion House (kick-off 7.30pm), which also promises to be a boozy affair. Unfortunately I'm tied up with my festive Twankey, so if anyone's got a pair of scissors...

PS: Comments are now back on. Please keep them to the point, or if you can't keep them to the point keep them funny. And if you can't manage either, sod off!

Flying Tonite

Here's a little reminder, ahead of tonight's Eastcliff Residents' Association meeting with Matt Clarke, boss of RAF London Kent Ramsgate Manston International Airport, of the effect the Oasis training flights are having on the Cannes of Kent.

I'll be there with my megaphone, but if you don't get a chance to come along and protest, do sign my Downing Street petition.

Pin Back Your Eraholes

OK, I'm off the crack now. I think. Mind you, looking at that headline, maybe not.

So the Biggles Brigade, clearly rather rattled by my Thanet Is Beautiful video, have aborted their scheduled landing on the East Cliff tomorrow night and gone round for another circuit. Instead of being graced by Infartil, the owners of RAF London Kent Ramsgate Manston International Airport, the Eastcliff Residents' Association AGM will instead be hosting a talk on 'The Pugin Family' (what did happen to David Cassidy?) by Nick Dermott, Chairman of the Pugin Society. It kicks off at 7.30pm at our crumbling Albion House.

Meanwhile I've received a reply from Oasis Hong Kong Airlines to my email complaining about their infernal oozalum flights. Here's what I wrote:

Dear Sir/Madam,

Yet another Sunday ruined here in the pretty coastal resort of Ramsgate, Kent, UK as your 400 tonne aluminium lump flies over every ten minutes, feet from everyone's heads, on its training circuits from Manston. I presume the Reverend Lee approves of people's Sunday's being devastated in this way, and that he is therefore more interested in Mammon than God.

Yours etc.

Here's what they wrote back:

Dear Mr Eastcliff,

Thank you for your email and your feedback. This is to let you know that we were doing pilot training. Please note that this happens on most weekends. Thank you for contacting us.

Yours sincerely

Johanna Chan, Oasis Hong Kong Airlines

Ah, the inscrutable Chinese. Johanna. What a lovely name. I wonder if she's got a boyfriend? I've replied thus:

Dear Johanna,

May I call you Johanna? I am a very wealthy millionaire here in England. Do you ever come to England? If so, perhaps we could sort this whole thing out over dinner?

Yours ever,

Dickie

Join The E.R.A.

The Eastcliff Residents' Association should be out and about in an hour or so, appending more of these protest signs to the 'temporary' fencing along our crumbling cliff top.

According to their website, they do this every Friday at 4.30pm. 'Two years of temporary fence is not right' is their rallying cry, and I wholeheartedly agree with them. Personally, though, I prefer to take more direct action, so this afternoon I've placed an order with Heras for 200 metres of their product to be positioned around my, er, new home at 17 Crow Hill, Broadstairs.

Bandstand Bash

The Eastcliff Residents Association are holding a bit of a do tomorrow afternoon at our brand new, super-duper, out-of-this-world bandstand. Let's hope the weather holds out for it.

Turps and terpsichory are promised, although dancing will presumably be limited to tripping only the very lightest of fantastics, given the state of our crumbling cliff.