Wind

Thankfully we're not suffering from wind as much as those poor pasty-munching buggers down in Cornwall are at the moment. But as this picture of the hoarding around the Granville Eyesore here in the Millionaires' Playground shows, one or two things have nonetheless blown off. I'm glad it wasn't my Lamborghini Veneno parked there at the time!

It's the second occasion in a month that the fan's hit the shit, as it were. Property developer Jason Hough, who owns the site, really should have read January's notice on the excellent FixMyStreet website a bit more carefully. If he had, he'd have seen that one more hefty puff was about to bring the rest of his hoardy house down.

Still, by this afternoon Kent Highways had bulldozed it from their road and crammed it back into his hole, so that's not bad going.

Speaking of eyesores, the Pleasurama Eyesore rightly gets all the coverage when it comes to the Cannes of Kent, but the Granville's just as 'orrible in my humble proverbial, as is this in Bellevue Road, which is rapidly becoming the local flytippers' landfill of choice...

Not to mention the old cop shop on Cavendish Street.

I dunno. At this rate it might be worth resurrecting the old Eyesore Tours from 2008!

Get Noticed!

Once again I'm indebted to regular contributor Mr X, this time for a snapshot of a notice he noticed.

Talking of noticing, am I the only one to have noticed that the 'temporary' fencing (948 days and counting) along our crumbling East Cliff has grown a bit recently? Is this what the Uranians mean by regeneration? I think we should be told!

Meanwhile a reader revelling in the moniker Oh Little Town of Birchington has sent me details of the new Ann Summers iGasm device, which plugs into your iPod and tickles your, er, fancy in time to the music. Apparently it's got iPod makers Apple all hot and steamy under their matching cuffs and collars. Ann Summers don't say whether it comes in multiple packs, but apparently it does carry a warning not to listen to Rimsky-Korsakov's Flight of the Bumblebee in the workplace or other public areas. Now that really would get you noticed!

Frustrated readers can click here for details of the iGasm.

Political Football

Margate Architecture, one of the newer kids on the blog, has asked me to highlight the peculiar comings and goings over planning permission for the above building, close to Cliftonville Lido.

Locals will know that the place has been rotting away for many years, but now it seems Rams boss Jim Ward has come along and applied for permission to convert the place into flats. The lad done good, you might opine. Trouble is, it's in a Conservation Area, and is about to be spot listed by English Heritage. Yet Margate Architecture reports that planning notices - those yellow things you see appended to lamp posts - have been conspicuous by their absence. Not only that, but whilst awaiting a listed status inspection all the splendid old cabinets in the former pharmacy were stripped out - you can see before and after shots here. Presumably they've been recycled into trophy cabinets.

Personally I think it would be a crying shame to demolish the curvy, Victorian shop front and replace it with breeze blocks and one of those plastic portholes that pass for a door around here. But then I'm afraid the writing is already on the wall. Does anyone remember the Outfitters Gallery debacle last May? We were promised a full inquiry into that, since when not a sausage. Maybe it's gone into extra time.

Prize Nanas

I see those Chipperfield Circus people, whose design for Margate's putative Anthea Turner Centre currently resembles Richborough Power Station, are odds-on favourites to win this year's RIBA Stirling Prize for Architecture.

Hardly surprising, as they designed two of the six buildings on the shortlist - the America's Cup Building in Valencia, and the Museum of Modern Literature in Mar, er, bach. Both look like the kind of concrete lumps that would grace any orimulsion burning facility, and not much better than something that could be whipped up by a team of blindfolded, tartrazine-fuelled five year olds with a Lego set.

Still, if you're that way inclined, the entire gruesome, arse-licking architectural experience is being served up on Channel 4 at 8pm tomorrow night. Don't forget your sick bag.

Channel 4 listing

Scoopez Le Poop

Yikes! This blog is rapidly degenerating into one of those silly sign sites. This latest is from reader Glenn (of Terracotta fame), who spied it in Poopignan, er, Perpignan in the south of France. Loosely translated it says:

Make a clean gesture: use the bags provided for you in this distributor.

I'm not sure it would work around here, though. The chances of anyone making a clean gesture if you asked them to scoop up after their pit bull are about as likely as getting a fly-tipping problem resolved by Thanet District Council!

Tell Tale Signs

Yesterday's appeal for signs spotted by readers on their travels has really opened up the sluice gates. Mr X sent in the above, which, although it's not officially recognised by the Commission on International Signs and Symbols, is nonetheless pretty clear in its meaning. Mr X also contributed this:

Perhaps if we were to adopt a similarly direct approach with our signage here on Kent's Ramsgate Peninsula, it might prove more effective?

There Is Nothing Like A Dame

We are seldom graced by (almost) royalty here in the world of Thanet blogging, so it is with enormous pleasure that I can reveal that Dame Janet has started her own site.

You'll recall that her royal gracious loveliness was runner-up in my Richard Eastcliff Award For A Grand Design For Ramsgate, and has very magnanimously been instrumental in helping to put together the collection for my Van Gogh Contemporary here in the Ile's premiere town.

She's just about to publish a splendid book on women's suffrage in East Kent from 1909-1918, but is also interested in women's history in Kent generally. Her radiant gorgeousness has asked me to point out that it's very early days for her blog, and requested that I be nice. Well, ma'am, am I ever anything else?

Ramsgreat Ideas - The Winner!

The judges (me) have spent most of the day scrutinising the piles of entries in my Richard Eastcliff Award For A Grand Design For Ramsgate. The idea was to give Ramsgate an iconic building for the 21st Century, seeing as most of the publicity, and money, seems to go to Margate these days.

The top three have now been picked, and so, in true showbiz fashion, I'll announce the winners in reverse order.

In third place is Terracotta Glenn with his idea, based on a visit to China's famous terracotta army, to place larger-than-lifesize terracotta Vikings along our seafront. Here's what it might look like:

In second place is Dame Janet's comprehensive re-working of the seafront, including a restored Royal Pavilion, swimming pool and skate park (although presumably other types of fish will also be exhibited). You can take a peek at Dame Janet's entry here.

And now for the winner (drum roll). It gives me enormous pleasure to announce that the Richard Eastcliff Award For A Grand Design For Ramsgate goes to... Richard Eastcliff, for his suggestion that Ramsgate should build a Van Gogh Contemporary, seeing as the monaural artist spent at least ten minutes enjoying a cup of tea here once, and if it's good enough for Margate, it should be good enough for us too.

I will forthwith be applying to the relevant authorities for a grant of £169m, which I am assured from initial exploratory discussions will arrive in the form of an open cheque next week.

More Ramsgreat Ideas

A reader calling herself Dame Janet has emailed yet another entry in my Richard Eastcliff Award For A Grand Design For Ramsgate competition, and pretty comprehensive it is too. She writes:

Restoration of Ramsgate Seafront

1. Royal Victoria Pavilion
To be restored as an entertainment venue with restaurant, and roof garden with café. Small lock-up seaside shops round base as originally

2. Maritime Museum
To be modernised and rearranged to include Tourist Information Centre and two rooms upstairs for a Ramsgate Museum

3. Former Pleasurama site
Exterior of building to be same shape and in the spirit of the original Harbour Station . To be redeveloped as a leisure centre and swimming pool for all residents and visitors to enjoy with full length glass walls on seaward side

4. Marina Restaurant
To be refurbished as holiday apartments with cafe underneath

5. Marina Road
Cliff face arches and road arches to be all restored and re-faced in red brick to match Royal parade on other side of harbour

6. Site of old Marina swimming pool
To become a supervised skateboard park and roller rink

Sounds splendid, Dame Janet, and if put into practice would furnish Ramsgate with more front than Dolly Parton.

Send your Grand Design for Ramsgate by midnight on Thursday 31st May to:

richardeastcliff@yahoo.co.uk

Sign Wave

There's no stopping Terracotta Glenn, the reader who sent in his plan for larger-than-lifesize Vikings along the seafront in my Richard Eastcliff Award For A Grand Design For Ramsgate competition. He's sent me two more signs with the missive:

I attach some further suggestions for signage along the crumbling cliff face. Not just to protect visitors and bumbling locals from their own folly, but as tourist attractions in themselves.



With Manston about to become a Chinese business park, the sooner we get these signs erected the better!

Sign Of The Times

Terracotta Glenn, who sent in his plan for larger-than-lifesize Vikings along the seafront in my Richard Eastcliff Award For A Grand Design For Ramsgate competition, has sent me another photograph from his China trip. He writes:

If Ramsgate is to be taken seriously as an attraction for the rich and geriatric, this picture shows what you really need. A man of your, er, standing in the community must surely have noticed.

I have noticed, Glenn, and more and more frequently as I head towards my, er, 30th year.

Ramsgreat Ideas Flooding In

A big 'Mwah!' to everyone who's been sending in their plans for the snappily titled Richard Eastcliff Award For A Grand Design For Ramsgate. Here's a couple of the best so far.

Reader Glenn writes: 'I recently went on holiday to China, and was very impressed with the visitor centre for the famous Terracotta Army. Outside the centre you can have your photo taken as one of the terracotta soldiers. Given our area's connection to the Vikings, wouldn't it be great if people could pose on the seafront as a Viking!"

And a reader who goes by the name of 'Krystal' writes: 'I read that the Motor Museum (West Cliff Hall) was once a venue for a Rolling Stones gig. What better tribute than to turn it into a Museum of Rock?' He's even sent me a photo of himself in his, er, curator's uniform.

Terracotta Glenn

'Curator' Krystal

Ramsgreat Idea!

The Independent on Sunday ran an article yesterday about the regeneration of the British seaside. Among the grand designs mentioned were Margate's Turnip Centre, and my old showbiz chum Roger de Courcey's plans for Folkestone.

But no mention of Ramsgate. Probably because our friends on Uranus and their pals at KCC have neglected to draw up any grand designs for the Millionaires' Playground. Apart from flogging the best off to developers, and allowing the rest to rot.

So to redress the balance, today I'm launching The Richard Eastcliff Award For A Grand Design For Ramsgate. It's a catchy title, I'm sure you'll agree, and is bound to attract a great deal of media attention. Just email your ideas to:

richardeastcliff@yahoo.co.uk

The best of them will be published here, and the winner will receive a valuable signed photograph of yours truly. Plus my personal architect Mr Ceaucescu (no relation), who spent many years at the Janitorial Studies Department of the world renowned Ion Mincu Institute of Architecture in Bucharest, will turn your design into a working scale model (subject to completion of the guttering here at the old cliff top mansion).

So what are you waiting for? Let's put Ramsgate on the regeneration map!