East Of The Wantsum

Here's this week's EotW (click it to big it).

To be honest, it's such a beautiful, sunny day here in the Cannes of Kent that I've completely lost the urge to moan about anything! So I'm just going to head down to the strip, grab a cool beer from the Belgian, and take in the sight of the Heras fencing on Pier Yard, the sound of pneumatic drills on full bore, and the smell of raw sewage gurgling into the marina!

On The Of-fence-ive

Bloody hell! I must get a new headline writer! So there I was scanning through the 47 free newspapers that plop through the letterbox each week, looking for stories. As any media mogul worth his salt knows, there's no point reading the editorial content. You've probably seen it all before. No, what I always read are the adverts. And I wasn't disappointed.

On page six of the Isle of Thanet Extra I spotted this:

Notice of a public inquiry next Tuesday to appeal against our beloved council over the erection of 2.1m high security fencing without going to the awkward bother of getting planning permission.

The appeal is listed as having been brought by 'Samber Limited'. A quick search of the interwhatsit elicited the news that 'Samber Limited' is a Jewish charity based in Golders Green whose aim is: 'To advance religion in accordance with the Orthodox Jewish faith and for such other purposes as are recognised by English law as charitable.' The appeal refers to 'land adjacent to the Montefiore Synagogue, Honeysuckle Road, Ramsgate', where Samber Limited appears to have taken it upon themselves to install a large erection without bothering to ask the council.

It's not the first time, however, that 2.1m security fencing has caused upset on the Ile. Earlier this year there was a huge kerfuffle when it was put up, again without planning permission, in Broadstairs. And in April, reader Foxy complained about this new fence in Cecilia Road, Ramsgate:

On those occasions it was the council that didn't bother applying to itself for planning permission. Now, however, it seems that it's going to all the trouble of a public inquiry to test the good taste of our local boundaries!

Click here to view case on Planning Inspectorate website

Update: Reader Walter writes: Stop the bus!!!!! Samber purchased the land from a developer who put the fence up and a gate without planning permission. It was then blocked off by an inappropriate gate and the new/old owners were told to remove it - and we had a new right of way instigated after.. yup after yet another public inquiry. TDC are actually (and I spit in TDC's direction as I type this) the good guys in this case!

I have reworded this story to reflect this, Walter, and to eliminate my previous erroneous drivellings. All I can say is that my glass eye must have required polishing earlier in the day!

Wish You Were Heras?

My spies at RAF London Kent Ramsgate Manston International Airport tell me they spotted something rather unusual last week. No, not a bus load of happy holidaymakers bound for foreign climes, that would be too unusual for words! No, what they actually saw was a cargo of Heras temporary fencing being loaded onto one of those knackered old freighters that fly from there.

Maybe after more than three years, er, gracing our East Cliff here in Ramsgate, it was jetting off to the sun for a well-earned break!

One Up, One Down

Regular contributor Samantha writes:

I was pleased to see Mears joiners working on behalf of Thanet Council finally reinstating the boundary to Granville Court behind Victoria Parade in Ramsgate last week (see photo attached). It has taken months to get the council to clear this site and replace the hoarding around it after it became dangerously dilapidated and a magnet for fly tippers. Well done TDC (at last)!

And there's another cheer for TDC from reader Brian who sent in this shot of our once-crumbling East Cliff:

As you can see, most of the 'temporary' Heras fencing has been removed. And it only took three years, three months and three days! In fact it had been there so long that this is the first time I've had the pleasure of peering at the prom in its full, un-Herassed glory, as I only DFLed to the Millionaires' Playground at the start of 2006.

I'm tempted to dispense with the 'temporary' fencing counter-uppy thingo on my sidebar, which is currently registering 1,170 days. But then not all the fencing has disappeared, and there are one or two spots of it erupting further up. And a substantial patch has recently burst out along Royal Parade on the west side. Rather like acne really. Whaddya think? Should I stop counting? Or are happy days here again?

Fence Of A Thousand Days

As you can see from my counter-uppy thingo opposite, the 'temporary' Heras fencing along our crumbling East Cliff has now been in place for 1000 days. But did you know that when it was first erected:

- Shoes were a novelty, having just been introduced to England by Sir Walter Raleigh
- Only three years earlier the first steam engine was invented by George IV
- Tea was the principle currency of Belgium

Work has now started on repairing the cliff, although rumour has it that this might take nine months to complete. Meanwhile there has been a suggestion from regular contributor Millicent that we all go down there and hold a candlelight vigil. Picture that - a thousand candles perched on the cliff edge! No, on second thoughts perhaps not. Their weight might just tip the balance

Get Noticed!

Once again I'm indebted to regular contributor Mr X, this time for a snapshot of a notice he noticed.

Talking of noticing, am I the only one to have noticed that the 'temporary' fencing (948 days and counting) along our crumbling East Cliff has grown a bit recently? Is this what the Uranians mean by regeneration? I think we should be told!

Meanwhile a reader revelling in the moniker Oh Little Town of Birchington has sent me details of the new Ann Summers iGasm device, which plugs into your iPod and tickles your, er, fancy in time to the music. Apparently it's got iPod makers Apple all hot and steamy under their matching cuffs and collars. Ann Summers don't say whether it comes in multiple packs, but apparently it does carry a warning not to listen to Rimsky-Korsakov's Flight of the Bumblebee in the workplace or other public areas. Now that really would get you noticed!

Frustrated readers can click here for details of the iGasm.

Thanet Council In YouTube Boob

Holy server errors! Pootling around the internet just now, I spied Thanet Council's competition (Prop.: B. Iggles) to find photos and videos of the Ile as part of their 'Thanet Is Beautiful' campaign. Their trailer on YouTube, a rather ham-fisted affair notable only for a soundtrack by Rochester's Hammond organ virtuoso James Taylor, has so far received a paltry 23 hits in the ten days it's been up. And they've only managed to recruit one group member, er, themselves.

Frankly, what they require is a TV genius like me to liven the competition up a bit. So it was with the best of intentions (honestly guv) that I attempted to join their BoobTube group and upload some of the videos that Mr Ceaucescu (no relation) has created for ECR TV.

At that point the mystery of why they only have themselves to look at was solved, with the screen of my old Del Boy laptop filled from top to toe with the above gobbledygook. Kuh! Amateurs! Nonetheless, I did manage to submit the photograph below which I took last year. Do you think I'll win the 500 smackers?

Fence Post

Here's an idea for what to do with the 'temporary' fencing that's, um, graced our crumbling East Cliff for the last 815 days.

It's courtesy of that place with fewer listed buildings than Ramsgate - Bath. Their local arts group, BANA, is running an open art fair (I think I've spelt that right).

Artwork for the requirements of this Art Fair will be deemed to be any original work of Art which has used the medium of coloured Pigment in a 2D fashion to create a work of Art suitable for hanging on a system of Heras Fencing which constitutes the Arts Display area. Costs of Artwork will range from £100 to £10,000. No reproductions or limited edition prints.

At those sort of prices, we could hold a sale and pay for the cliff to be repaired ourselves. And have enough left over to book Elton for the grand opening!

Bath Open Art Fair

Site For Sore Eyes

The old glass eye nearly popped out of its socket during my post-prandial constitutional just now. Not only has ten years of tundra disappeared from the Pleasurama site in preparation for the fun fair which is going to be placed there after the powerboat weekend, but two years' worth of weeds and detritus has also been cleared from behind the Heras fencing.

Hurray for Thanet Council! Eh? No, that can't be right surely?

Fencewatch

Steering rapidly away from heated debates about antiquated amusement parks, I thought I'd head for, um, safer ground today and bang on about that old favourite, Ramsgate's crumbling East Cliff.

A while back I treated you to the full SP on Heras, the company that has supplied most of the 'temporary' fencing along our dilapidated cliff top. 'Most' being the appropriate word, as I've now spotted a new species - Beaver 84!

Beaver 84 is a dynamic, customer driven business engaged in the hire and sale of quality new and used non-mechanical plant to the construction, engineering, oil, TV and leisure industries and government funded bodies, it says here.

TV and government funded bodies, eh? That gives me an idea for killing two, er, fences with one stone. Maybe I could get my old showbiz chum Bill Oddie to set up his night cameras here in Ramsgate. You never know, a week of Fencewatch might be just the thing for KCC TV!

10 Things You Didn't Know About Heras Fencing

Isle of Thanet Gazunder Cut-Out-And-Keep Guide

Everyone's talking about Heras fencing! And with the East Cliff display now in its third season, and growing bigger every year, we've spent half an hour trawling the Heras website to bring you this fence-tastic guide to Heras - the company that invented the concept of temporary fencing and remains the European market leader!

1. If all the Heras fencing in the UK was joined up, it would stretch as far as Copenhagen.
2. Blacksmith Archibald Heras invented the system while attempting to improve the design of mobile bedsteads for Wellington's army.
3. David Bowie's 70s hit We Could Be Heroes was written as an advertising jingle for the firm and was originally called We Could Use Heras.
4. Heras fencing is used at London Zoo to prevent gorillas from accidentally mating.
5. The town of Arras in northern France took its name from the amount of temporary fencing used during its construction.
6. On the Pacific island of Tonga, Heras fencing is seen as a status symbol, with the king possessing more than 23 miles of it.
7. Irish composer Padraig O Floinn's Dublin Symphony uses two lengths of Heras fencing instead of a woodwind section.
8. Many superstitions have grown up around the fencing, and some people in Scotland believe that it can cure warts.
9. Much of the Space Shuttle was constructed out of Heras fencing.
10. Future Prime Minister Gordon Brown is a fan, and refuses to travel without taking at least one section with him.