Bloggus Interruptus

I've been flooded with emails (one) saying you can't access my musings here on Thanet's Premier Blog! I assume this is some despicable denial of service attempt by the evil Tory boffins in Cecil Square. Er, or it might be some kind of compatibility issue with Internet Sexplorer.

Right now my team of crack-crazed, teenage platform technicians are working through the night to restore normal service. If you're having problems, do let me know via richardeastcliff@yahoo.co.uk. Although if you're not seeing the blog, you won't be seeing that either, will you? Bugger it. Pass me the crack pipe Josh.

TV Dinner

Well, after a jolly old think, I finally decided to return to our septic isle and am currently sitting here in my cliff top mansion, freezing my butt off. As a, er, sensible financial precaution I turned the heating off before my trip down under, not expecting a second ice age to descend and transform the place into Santa's grotto. Brrrr!

In fact I should really say 'butts', as being crammed into an economy class seat for 24 hours has had the effect of drawing a horizontal line across my arse cheeks, giving the old Eastcliff derriere a curious, four-buttocked profile not unlike the the rear view of one of those track-suited Margate mums who's made the mistake of cramming her size 20 behind into a pair of size 12 panties. A sort of hot, cross bum if you like.

For the next few days I'll be chillaxing and catching up on the latest Thanet goss. One piece of news that has already caught my eye is the start of a new, online Thanet TV station. Apparently they've been handed £100,000 worth of taxpayers sovs on the basis that they'll be getting unemployed youngsters to post videos on BoobTube. The words 'money', 'old' and 'rope' spring to mind. And their qualifications for this largesse? Well, leading light Rachel Saint runs something called 'Busy Mummy', which helps young mums.

It's left me pondering how much someone (moi) who has actually worked in grown-up television might expect for popping in an application and ticking a few boxes. It's got to be worth half a mill, surely? I think all my financial problems may just have been solved. Ker-ching!

Click here to read Thanet TV story on the Gazunder website

Prevention Of Ascension To The East Cliff

Tooling around my manor on Easter Monday, it was gratifying to see our marvellous Edwardian lift here on Ramsgate's swinging East Cliff back in action. Especially after last year's debacle when the opening was delayed until May for want of a spare part.

So imagine my dismay when yesterday I discovered it was shut again. In honour of this on/off arrangement I have re-edited last year's inauguration video and bunged it on ECR TV. Enjoy!

Could Do With A Bit More Polish

Mr Ceaucescu (no relation) has been moonlighting. And I don't mean making money with the mastic.

Trawling through BoobTube earlier today, I came across a short commercial he's made for that new East European deli on the high street. It isn't one of his finest pieces of work, I'm afraid. Not so much an advert as a badvert. See what you think:

Boeing, Boeing, Gong!

Well, I've posted my entry for Thanet Council's competition to find photos and videos of the Ile as part of their 'Thanet Is Beautiful' campaign. It's bound to win me that long-overdue BAFTA (Biggles Award For Thanet Arts) I richly deserve! Enjoy!

Thanet Council In YouTube Boob

Holy server errors! Pootling around the internet just now, I spied Thanet Council's competition (Prop.: B. Iggles) to find photos and videos of the Ile as part of their 'Thanet Is Beautiful' campaign. Their trailer on YouTube, a rather ham-fisted affair notable only for a soundtrack by Rochester's Hammond organ virtuoso James Taylor, has so far received a paltry 23 hits in the ten days it's been up. And they've only managed to recruit one group member, er, themselves.

Frankly, what they require is a TV genius like me to liven the competition up a bit. So it was with the best of intentions (honestly guv) that I attempted to join their BoobTube group and upload some of the videos that Mr Ceaucescu (no relation) has created for ECR TV.

At that point the mystery of why they only have themselves to look at was solved, with the screen of my old Del Boy laptop filled from top to toe with the above gobbledygook. Kuh! Amateurs! Nonetheless, I did manage to submit the photograph below which I took last year. Do you think I'll win the 500 smackers?

TV Winners

Kent on Sunday (on Saturday) are splashing their new Kent TV service all over the front page today, urging readers to send in clips ahead of the launch of their BoobTube-alike platform for Kent next month. 500 smackers are on offer for the best entry, which, they say, could encompass anything from 'a great day out' to, er, 'Morris dancing'.

Don't knock it, though, as they're well ahead of KCC TV, of whom we hear, well, um, nothing, despite hundreds of thousands of our tax sovs being ploughed into it. Of course, both channels have been well and truly trumped by my own ECR TV, which has been serving the Thanet nation since March. No pesky propaganda, no annoying ads, just pure entertainment!

TV Or Not TV?

I've received an email from those nice people at Kent on Sunday asking me if I'd like to upload my ECR TV films onto their new TV on demand site. Here's what they say:

I am contacting you from KOS Media, the company which publishes the newspapers Kent on Sunday and Saturday Observer, and the website www.kentnews.co.uk. We are currently expanding our services to the people of Kent, with a new series of local newspapers and websites.

We are also launching a unique online TV on demand service featuring video material created by both our reporting staff and members of the community who wish to upload material. We are confident in attracting a large Kent-based audience to our new sites, and we are keen to share the material you have posted on YouTube with our viewers.

We are writing to ask your permission to upload your Thanet films onto our site, and to share it with the hundreds of thousands of people who are regular readers of our publications.

It's left me wondering why Kent County Council should line Saint Bob's already bloated pockets with our taxes to produce KCC TV, when a commercial organisation like KOS Media can provide a community 'television' service for Kent that's effectively free. Answers on a video postcard please.

Ascension To The East Cliff

I must say I've rather taken to heart all this criticism that I don't give those hard working chaps at the council their due.

So to redress the balance here's a bit of good news. They've finally found the spare part for the East Cliff lift, and its now going up and down like a good 'un. And to celebrate my recently elevated (geddit?!!?) opinion of the Uranians, I've even dug out some archive footage from the last time it was working!

Westwood Housing Scheme Makes Tony Cross

I was wondering where Mr Ceacescu (no relation) had dashed off to yesterday. He was last seen heading in the direction of Westworld Cross in his BMW.

It would seem that he met up with Margate's very own pie-devouring superblogger, Tony Flaig. Together they've made a short film for ECR TV about the new housing estate that's going to be plonked there, and the lack of forethought on the planning front.

Not a bad first effort for Mr Flaig. And, even more gratifyingly, it didn't cost me a sausage!

Radiological Conclusion

Yikes! It seems I've dropped a bollock calling my media outfit ECR TV. Something by the same name already exists - take a look!

The European Congress of Radiology's TV station even features a 'sketch' in which Dr Paul Dubbins performs a rib-tickling impression of a grumpy old codger. Spooky. Other delights for your televisual entertainment include novel techniques in breast imaging, and a gripping debate on whether prostate MR should be performed by specialists or beginners.

Somehow I don't think Corrie's got anything to worry about, but it might just prove more popular than Sky 1's latest primetime effort Corkscrewed which pulled in just 53,000 punters (0.29% of the available audience) last night.

Around Thanet In Two Minutes

This latest masterpiece from the studios of ECR TV does exactly what it says on the tin!

Please Fence Me In

Regular reader Rachel from Ramsgate writes:

Richard, I love you. I think you are the wittiest, most talented person I have ever met. Please let me have your babies.

No, no, ha ha, no, I, er, made that bit up. Sorry Rachel. No, here's what she actually wrote:

Dear Eastcliff,

I was intrigued to see your item yesterday about the Lesser Spotted Fly Tippers. I walk to work every morning past the back of the Granville and the waste land at the back of the building looks more and more like a landfill every day. Most of the rear fence to this site blew away in the gales back in January and it has never been replaced. I'm sure it's attracting fly tippers every day as access to what is just a hole in the ground is very easy and Oakleigh Developments who appear to be responsible for the development don't seem to be doing anything about it. Perhaps you could investigate this? I have sent you some photos.

Hmm. This could be a story for ECR TV. Where's Mr Ceaucescu (no relation) when you need him?

Ramsgate - A Pain In The Arts

Mr Ceaucescu (no relation) has been out and about again with his new best friend from Margate, arts commentator Philip Page (aka Arts and Elbows).

This time they've made a short film for ECR TV about the state of the arts in Ramsgate, and pretty bleak it looks too.

I don't know. You hire a Romanian, you expect the Cheeky Girls! Not this arty twaddle!

It Came From Uranus! - The Movie

Mr Ceaucescu (no relation) has put together a short package for ECR TV demonstrating Bertie's reaction to the severed head sent to me by The Uranians (see previous post).

With an animal as ferocious as this guarding my cliff top mansion there'll be no worries about getting off to the kipper tonight, snug as a bug in a proverbial under my John Lewis luxury Hungarian goose down duvet.

Media Battle

Flaming Murdochs! No sooner have I launched ECR TV than those Dirty Desmonds over in Margate come up with a copycat channel.

Of course this means a circulation war, so with immediate effect I am dropping the cover price of ECR TV to 5p per issue. Nope, forget that, let's make it a free sheet!

Greed Doze Day

Dode forget, ebery comment today equals a quid to Comic Relief!

Margate - The Last Resort?

Mr Ceaucescu (no relation) bumped into Margate retailer and arts columnist Philip Page (aka Arts and Elbows) while he was on location yesterday.

While I was carousing at Elton's 60th, Mr Ceaucescu (no relation) has been up all night in the ensuite edit suite putting together this short film about regenerating the Arsonists' Playground through the arts. Not bad, if a bit dark and Eastern European for my liking. I mean, where are the gags?

Don't forget, tune in to ECR TV for more satirical insight into Kent's Ramsgate Peninsula!

New Kids On The Blog

Another weekend, another couple of blogs.

Madpup in Thanet mixes splendid aerial photographs of Kent's Ramsgate Peninsula with rants about the state of the Ile, and is run by a fellow who used to provide mobile disco services to the cognoscenti.

Anthea Turner Around Margate is the story of one faded presenter's forlorn hope that the Arsonists' Playground could be tidied up a bit and maybe improved by putting a couple of pretty pictures above the fireplace.

Both have, um, a familiar ring about them. By the way, my review of these blogs has in no way been influenced by the fact that the first provides direct competition to my arch enemy, Dr Biggles, and the second has completely overlooked linking to Thanet's premier commentator, yours truly.

Nor has it been influenced by the fact that I'm feeling particularly peevish this morning having sunk the best part of half a bottle of Bombay Sapphire at the ECR TV launch party last night. Thank you.

Me TV

Now that I've got the hang of this BoobTube mullarkey, I've set up an entire channel devoted to moi.

All it needs now is for my crack team of highly trained producers to scour the island in search of corruption and scandal. Which they'll be doing as soon as they've finished the guest bathroom in the west wing.

Meanwhile, if you've got something you'd like to get off your chest in front of my prying eye, just leave a comment, or email me at eastcliffrichard.co.uk. With your help, and my BAFTA winning talent, we should be able to give KCC TV a run for their money!