The Fat Lady Sings On The Pleasurama Eyesore

Update: Following the success of this video, which has now gone viral with more than a dozen hits worldwide, it's been suggested that we commission an operatic number for the upcoming FFS Ramsgate Music Festival, being organised by the Friends of Ramsgate Seafront.

If any of you budding lyricists out there feel like making up some words to the tune of 'Barcelona' by Freddie Mercury and Montserrat Cabbale (which neatly fits with 'Pleasurama'), please do.

Appropriately enough, I am currently making arrangements for the Montserrat Cabbale part to be played by a morbidly obese, heavily tattooed woman in a tracksuit who looks like she can bang six inch nails in with her forehead. In the original song, that part is in Spanish, so it would only be appropriate for the new version to be in fluent Fannit.

Well, whaddya waiting for?!!?!

Inn-comprehensible Plans

The Pleasurama drama rumbles on, with another public meeting slated for this Thursday. So I thought I'd step back a decade or so and look at the original plans that were submitted to our lovely council, when Whitbread were alleged to be involved in the scheme.

Actually, it's not the drawing of the building that I'm interested in. As you can see, local estate agent and, er, pillar of the community Terry Painter submitted the plans, and next to his logo is the slogan 'enjoy!Whitbread'. That's a rebranding that Whitbread went through in September 2001, when they stopped brewing beer and became more interested in brewing lattes, running restaurants and owning hotels.

Trouble is, no-one at Whitbread seems to have known they were involved in the scheme, as this email from the time suggests:

According to LinkedIn, Jamie Cowen is a real person, and has subsequently moved on to become Head of Mixed Use Development at Sainsbury's Property Investments.

So on what basis did Thanet Council consider these so-called plans from 'Whitbread'? Was any due diligence performed? Did they bother to ask Whitbread if they were actually involved? Or was it all accepted on the basis of Tiny Terry's say-so and a photocopied logo? I, for one, would find that nothing short of inn-credible!

Meanwhile here's how the Pleasurama (aka Royal Sands, aka Titanic) development looks today, more than ten years on:

Cardyology

Cripes! I see that there's a rumour going round that Cardy Construction, the company that has been booked to build the Royal Sands (aka Titanic) development on the Pleasurama eyesore here in Ramsgate, is in a, um, spot of bother!

This gossip, and (please note Mr Cardy's lawyers) I am definitely NOT saying there's anything in it, was probably sparked by a charge and a subsequent winding-up order that was lodged against them last month, and appears to have been disseminated via Facebook and the local blogs, and other, Broadstairs-based, print sources.

Now, whilst someone has obviously been upset enough, and had their payments delayed for long enough, to go to the trouble of trying to wind the company up, that is definitely not the same as saying the company is on the skids, or that it is about to g* b*** (asterisks there to protect the innocent). In fact it's a tactic that's often used as leverage to get a delayed payment out of a firm when relations have turned a bit sour, and doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the ongoing viability of the company. I know this, because my accountant Cyril told me.

Not only that, but according to my information, the striking off letter was suspended three days later, suggesting that the dispute was resolved pretty quickly once it had escalated to that stage.

I must say, Cardy's last set of accounts, for 2012, look pretty healthy. But then the construction industry has been going through hard times, and who knows what their next set of figures will look like. I would cough up the twelve quid for a credit report on them, but Cyril says he needs that for his bus journey home.

Meanwhile there's another meeting at Duffer HQ in Cecil Square tonight to discuss the whole Pleasurama mess. I wonder if Deputy Leader Poole The Fool will acquit himself better tonight than he did here in Ramsgate earlier this week? My guess is 'no'.

Ferrygate - The Cover-Up Continues

Regular contributor Steve has sent me a copy of this reply to his Freedom of Information request for more details about the £3.4m TransEuropa scandal. It's from Thanet Council's Director of Operations Mark Seed.

Not that there's anything you could consider 'information' in it!

Thank you for your communication received on 20th May 2013 in which you requested information about the council's dealings with Transeuropa Ferries.

The information you request relates to meetings and other communications with Transeuropa since March 2011and this information would be directly relevant  to legal action taken by the council to recover the outstanding debt. Premature release of information relevant to a potential legal action could be significantly prejudicial to a legal case taken by the council.

It is almost certain that this information would be released into the public domain and lead directly to the prejudice to any potential case.

The council is owed over £3 million and any prejudice to legal action it may take would be significantly prejudicial to its commercial interests. The application of a public interest test in relation to this under Section 43 of the Freedom of Information Act relating to commercial interests has been applied to this situation and it is considered that the balance of public interest lies on the side of not releasing the information you have requested as the wider public interest lies in retaining the confidentiality of this information at this stage. This will remain the case until the issue with regard to the legal action to recover the Transeuropa debt is resolved.

However, I would wish to clarify a misunderstanding in your request as this seems to be based on an assumption that sums were being paid to Transeuropa, which was not the case. The council is owed money by the company and this sum remains payable. Given the position of the company the council is going to have to seek this sum from any assets owned by the company through legal action.

History Lesson

With the news that Thanet Duffer Central has offered the 'developers' of the Pleasurama Eyesore aka Royal Sands aka Titanic Towers more time to cough up the sponds to avoid further 'scrutiny' (ooh, they must be really scared!), I thought I'd take a trip down memory lane and see if history can teach us a lesson here.

So settle down, and please do pay attention at the back. Poole - stop playing with McGonigal's calculator. Yes, it does spell 'boobs' if you hold it upside down, put it down. Thank you.

Now, it all starts back in 1986 with Thanet Council leasing the site to the late Jimmy Godden. Yes Poole, you're right, that is nearly 30 years ago. Well done.

Jimmy didn't much like running amusement parks, but he did like burning them down, collecting on the insurance, then applying for planning permission to build luxury seafront apartments. In 1994, Jimmy and his chums at Thanet Council cooked up a scheme to redevelop Pleasurama which would retain the listed building at the heart of the site. It was agreed that a mixed retail and leisure development would be completed by 31st December 2000, and the council would be paid £500,000.

Then in 1998, before work on the development could start, what happened? No McGonigal, the council didn't receive lots of money and live happily ever after. Bayford? Hart? Any clues? No? I'll tell you then. The site burnt down, and despite the fact that the council could have insisted the insurance money was spent on the new development, they allowed Jimmy to trouser the lot. He then trundled off in his Rolls-Royce to burn some other seafront heritage sites down, leaving Pleasurama to rot.

The council's Chief Executive at the time argued that no further dealings should be had with Mr Godden, and what happened to him? Yes, McGonigal, you're right! He received lots of money, retired early and lived happily ever after!

By 2001, Ramsgate's residents were so unhappy with what was happening to their lovely seafront, and the incompetence of their council, that they called in the District Auditor. Does anyone know what the District Auditor does? No Bayford, he doesn't check bus passes. He's a scary man with a big stick who goes around asking lots of very awkward questions. In 2002 he produced his report, here it is. It concludes that the biggest single impact of what had transpired was 'the lost opportunity to-date of developing a key area of the district for the overall benefit of local residents', and that 'a considerable amount of (council) staff resources were expended on this scheme (615 hours) for very little tangible output'.

What's more, he chastised (it means 'told off', Hart) the council for lacking project management skills, carrying out negotiations with the developer in secret, failure to approach alternative developers, failure to get a proper valuation for the site, failure by council employees to provide proper reports to councillors, and failure to take proper minutes of meetings and keep proper records of costs incurred.

Now, Poole, Hart, Bayford, McGonigal - what do we learn from this? Poole? What's that, you say? Keep secretly negotiating for ten years with one 'developer' you know nothing about, and offer to change the pathetically sketchy agreement you have with them to suit the requirements of their 'bankers'? Stupid boy! Go and stand in the corner!

Royal Sandcastles In The Sky

Time to move on and put those Tesco bags in the cupboard, methinks. I'm sure you've all had an elegant sufficiency of ChinaGatewayGate.

Now as you know I'm not usually one for the red tops, but I couldn't help noticing that the front page of yesterday's Thanet Times splashed the news that people had been camping overnight to get a slice of Tiny Terry's Royal Sands development. You know, down here on Ramsgate front where Pleasurama burnt down. Well, I can imagine the DFLs haven't heard about the knackered old jumbos that will be circling over their penthouses, but apparently even Thanetians have been piling in. No doubt the lack of heavy training flights over the weekend won't have done Terry's open day any harm.

And speaking of knackered old jumbos, regular contributor Steve tells me he's had a call from those nice people at British Airways after his, er, inquiry following one of their 737s going round 40 times the other weekend. Apparently we can expect to hear more from them, as they've stopped training in France due to a plan to cut down their carbon footprint (= can't afford the fuel). Hey ho. Do Harrods stock earplugs?

Bit Of A Stink

Holy hypocrisy! I see our Glorious Council Leader is blaming environmental bureaucracy for not clearing tons of rotting seaweed from Minnis Bay! Sandy Beach told the BBC Kent website that the stinking mess could not be moved because of the bay's Blue Flag status, adding in his usual lucid manner: 'It does seem a ludicrous rule, however I'm not the powers up there that say this is wrong or that is right.'

Would that be the same Sandy whose council seems poised to flout an Environment Agency recommendation not to build Chinese cess pits on top of our water supply, and agreed a residential development in Ramsgate on what the EA regards as a flood plain? Or is it a case of obeying the rules when it saves money, but ignoring them when it might suit your fat cat pals and bring in a bit of extra council tax dosh? I think we should be told!

Click here to read full story on BBC website

The White Cliffs Of Ramsgate

With the red veil slowly being lifted from our once crumbling, now repaired Eastcliff here in the Cannes of Kent to reveal our answer to Dover's proverbials, Chief O'Donnell of Ramsgate First writes:

I went down to see the partial unveiling of the cliff face on Ramsgate front yesterday. It looks very white, bright and clean and on a sunny day should give us all snow blindness. Still mustn’t carp. It's not for the likes of us (ratepayers) anyway – it will mostly be covered up by the new carbuncle that SFP (Whoever) Ltd might, perhaps, build there thanks to the obliging and cynical old ruling junta on TDC.

The railings on the cliff-top look very bright and shiny too. Unfortunately they end abruptly and unevenly exactly at the point above where the new flats that might be built by SFP (Wherever) Ltd will end. Coincidence? Having restored over 750 feet of path, railings and cliff face they should have finished the job and continued to the Augusta steps – another 150 feet at most. And it looks like an unfinished job and that, of course, is par for the gang from the North Side Chapter of Thanet – the Conswervative Cowboys. It will become a monument to their monumental cynicism.

In the meantime what will happen if the housing market continues to fall in value? SFP (Whatever) Ltd could be left with unsold apartments for years. Will they defer the build until house prices rise sufficiently to make this ugly carbuncle viable again? If so can we look forward to another five years of an empty site? Probably. It could only happen in Thanet.

Gerry, as ever, not holding any punches there. I'd have to add that I do trust my council tax won't be going up when they have to repaint it in a few years' time for the benefit of the Titanic's residents. I wonder how long before it's covered in graffiti?

The Red Cliffs Of Ramsgate

Reader Roger writes:

What with the ongoing work on our crumbling East Cliff here in Ramsgate, and the large number of parakeets that inhabit the area, I have been inspired to re-write the lyrics of that old, wartime classic The White Cliffs of Dover. I enclose some sample verses. Would you be able to pass them on to your old showbiz pal Dame Vera Lynn?

There'll be green birds for sure mate
On the Red Cliffs of Ramsgate
Tomorrow
Just you wait and see

There'll be crap apartments
Small as railway compartments
Tomorrow
Just down by the sea

There'll be builders' lorries
And more dog borries
Tomorrow
Just you wait and see

Hmm. Not sure it's quite the thing for Vera, but I'll run it by her.

Writing On The Road For Pleasurama Development

Peering over our crumbling East Cliff earlier I spied these mysterious yellow and red hieroglyphs on the car park below.

I can only assume that the Maidstone Martians have landed, and that these are preparations for the re-working of the road and car park for the benefit of the Pleasurama development, aka Royal Sands, aka Titanic. And I see they've cultivated an entire new crop of hideous Heras fencing in the process. Just what the Doctor ordered!

Gerry/Builders

Cripes! I see local teeny-tiny council campaigner Gerry O'Ramsgate has waded into the murky waters of the Pleasurama Development (aka Royal Sands aka Titanic aka Elsbels Palace Hotel).

In a recent email to all our local councillors, he writes:

Don't forget that at the Eastcliff Resident's Association meeting where the developers (£££££££££) met the people (********) I extracted an undertaking from Chief Planning Officer Brian White (!!!!!!!!!!!!!) that he would keep an eagle eye on the height of the development (??????????) and call a halt if the footings and the subsequent layers suggest the promised height is likely to be exceeded as we all know it will. Developers' measuring rulers and tapes come in Metric, Imperial and Fictional.

Go get 'em, Gerry!

That Sinking Feeling

With the occasional rat-a-tat of a pneumatic drill alerting me to the fact that development work has begun on the Pleasurama eyesore, it's time to come up with a decent name for the new building.

Officially it's going to be 'Royal Sands', but let's face it, that's a load of old pony. What it needs is a proper name. After all, does anybody know what that cliff top lump near the Western Esplanade in Boredstares is actually called? Of course not. But the Dickensians all know and, er, love it as 'Alcatraz'. So, what shall we call our own cliff bottom lump? Dun Burnin'? The Shelter? No, no, no, I've got a much better idea. Here's my reasoning:

1. It's vaguely ship-shaped.
2. It's got four sticky-out bits.
3. With climate change continuing apace, it'll almost certainly end up putting to sea.
4. It hasn't got enough, or indeed any, lifeboats.
5. In a once-in-a-lifetime storm surge a large object might collide with it, causing it to sink (don't take my word for it, this is our local biblio-bloke Michael Child's 'worst case scenario').

So, guessed the new name yet? It's obvious, isn't it? Say hello to: THE TITANIC!

Full text of Michael Child's research

Update: Here's today's spring tide (28 September) at Ramsgate, as filmed by Michael. A rather moderate example of what the Titanic will be setting sail in! The video was shot from roughly the bottom left hand corner of the above artist's impression of the new development.