Sunday, January 18, 2009

Tiny Dancers Set To Make Small Fortune

by Isle of Thanet Gazunder Arts Correspondent Hugh Mungus

Cliftonville's historic Tom Thumb Theatre could get a new lease of life, if a small group of entrepreneurs get their way!

The tiny theatre, which has been up for sale for more than a year, is set to become the isle's first venue for the latest craze to sweep London - midget lap dancing.

Backer Big Willy Winky, who heads up Exotitch, the group behind the bid, told the Gazunder: 'What better venue could there be for dwarf dancers than one of the world's smallest theatres?' And he added: 'Like my dancers, it's small but perfectly formed if you get my drift.'

But the move is bound to provoke anger among local residents. The theatre is close to sheltered housing for the elderly and several old people's homes.

Asked by the Gazunder whether the shock of seeing lapdancing Lilliputians and pole-dancing pigmies would be a trauma for her residents, Cliftonville care home supervisor Sandra Diesel said: 'One or two of them might have a stroke, but the others would be far too immobile to even get close.'

Big Willy Winky is 3'6".

Pole position: exotic dancer Pocket Rocket goes through her paces


Dick Rubin said...

WTF? You know you're in trouble when having read your blog then Googled 'midget lap dancing' your wife walks in behind you and doesn't believe your explanation....Now she thinks I'm some kind of deviant pervert.....anyway, back to the Midgets....marvellous.

Anonymous said...

Actually when The Full Monty was the film of the moment someone I know who is a dwarf formed a team similar to the film's but made up of dwarves. They were called the Full Half Monty. As the leader said 'It was a change from playing one of Snow White's seven dwarves'. They got plenty of bookings while the film was popular.

Big Boy Rob Munro said...

lubbly jubbly i'm moving back to Thanet nd will happily visit the club if it ever opens?

Big Boy Rob Munro said...

PS Meant to say on last comment I'm 6 feet 7 so would enjoy the dwarf pole dancers very much.

Tony Beachcomber said...

Big Roy, there could be a wee bit of problem if they put bouncers on the door. Clubs like this normally have a line on the wall and if your height is above it you cannot come in.