by Isle of Thanet Gazunder Arts Correspondent Hugh Mungus
Cliftonville's historic Tom Thumb Theatre could get a new lease of life, if a small group of entrepreneurs get their way!
The tiny theatre, which has been up for sale for more than a year, is set to become the isle's first venue for the latest craze to sweep London - midget lap dancing.
Backer Big Willy Winky, who heads up Exotitch, the group behind the bid, told the Gazunder: 'What better venue could there be for dwarf dancers than one of the world's smallest theatres?' And he added: 'Like my dancers, it's small but perfectly formed if you get my drift.'
But the move is bound to provoke anger among local residents. The theatre is close to sheltered housing for the elderly and several old people's homes.
Asked by the Gazunder whether the shock of seeing lapdancing Lilliputians and pole-dancing pigmies would be a trauma for her residents, Cliftonville care home supervisor Sandra Diesel said: 'One or two of them might have a stroke, but the others would be far too immobile to even get close.'
Big Willy Winky is 3'6".