Yes, it's that time of year again! When Thanetians settle down after scoffing the Christmas pud to a huge helping of ECR Christmas quizzing, a tradition which has spread joy around the Ile de Thanet ever since 2006.
As usual I've based my questions on the events and people that have shaped the Ile during the past year. So stoke up the yuletide blaze, and if there's any furniture left after the fire brigade have put it out, settle down and test your noddle with my Thanet brainteasers!
I spotted this whiffy old geyser in Rotorua (aka Fartopolis), New Zealand on my Big Down Under tour at the start of the year. Which recently appointed Thanet bigwig's last job was in Rotorua?
A: Oozalum-loving Manston Chief Executive Matt Clarke
B: China-loving TDC Chief Executive Richard Samuel
C: Car-park-loving Thorley Taverns Chief Executive Frank Thorley
Answer: A - Kiwi Matt's previous job was at Rotorua Airport.
This was put on display at Margate's Winter Gardens. What is it?
A: Tracey Emin's shoe box collection
B: Foam Sweet Foam, an exhibition of art from Kazakhstan
C: The initial design for the onshore Turnip Centre
Answer: C - currently the Turner Contemporary is expected to cost over £25m (including £8m wasted on the aborted offshore design).
New CCTV was installed by our beloved council to protect this Ramsgate monument after they scrubbed off years of gruesome graffiti. How long did the camera remain?
A: About a day
B: About a week
C: About a month
Answer: C - but why was it removed, and why has it never returned? (That's not another quiz question, just a pensive thought).
The earth moved here in the Millionaires' Playground on the morning of Saturday the 28th. What caused it?
A: An earthquake under the Channel a few miles from Dover
B: Our crumbling East Cliff collapsing
C: A Viagra spillage at the nearby Pfizer factory
Answer: A - Thanetians found their oats quaking around 8.30am.
The local council elections returned rugged Tory leader Sandy Beach to power, but what was Sandy in a previous life?
A: A boxer
B: A bouncer
C: A belly dancer
Answer: A - Sandy is famous for his Ali-like, pugilistic banter, such as last April when he called the Mayor of Margate a 'f*cking tosser' at the Mayor's own ball, and wittily suggested to another councillor 'come on, just put your face in mine!'
Former Isle of Thanet Gazunder reporter Nick Dorman upset Northsiders by printing some rather off colour remarks about Margate in The People. The article was about 'dole scroungers', but what is the town's apparent nickname, according to young Nick?
B: Benefit Bay
Answer: C - but as we all know, it's actual nickname is the Arsonists' Playground!
St Ives in Cornwall (pictured above) was named the best seaside town in Britain by The Guardian, but which resort came second?
Answer: B - um, er, well, no it was C: Boredstares actually. But it should have been Ramsgate. I think they may have miscounted the votes or something.
I was approached by a television company wanting to make a film about Ramsgate. What was going to be the film's highlight?
A: A musical which brought all the people of the town together
B: A Bond style speedboat chase through our Royal Harbour
C: A courtroom sequence in which the council was sued for incompetence
Answer: A - for some reason the producers never got in touch again after I told them my last single was truly eponymous, having sold just the one copy.
I broke the exclusive that a new company was planning to build seven, eight metre high glasshouses on the Ile - covering the equivalent of 75 football pitches - and fill them with tomatoes, peppers and cucumbers. What is the name of the company?
A: Thanet Earth
C: The Veg of The Known World
Answer: A - and here's the proof (or you can visit their website by clicking here):
Fishermen protested about the enormous sand bank that now virtually blocks the entrance of our Royal Harbour at low tide, caused by our incompetent council's lack of dredging. What was the council's response?
A: They renamed the sand bank The Sandy Beach Sandy Beach
B: They applied for Blue Flag status
C: They sold off the harbour's only dredger
Answer: C - they then put the dredging contract out to tender, but nothing further's been heard and the sand bank is still there.
The Isle of Thanet Gazunder was bought by Daily Mail group Northcliffe Media back in July. What did they blame this gobbledegook headline on in November?
A: Problems with their monkey/typewriter interface?
B: New computers
C: Sdf dsfskj sdffkjsd sdfkjf kdfjfklj dfjk
Answer: B - apparently the computers were fixed following the application of copious amounts of red wine, gin and high tar ciggies.
The ruling Blue Rinsers announced plans to close Ramsgate's Maritime Museum, quoting budget constraints and a lack of visitors. What else will they be closing?
A: Libraries to make way for 'one stop benefit shops'
B: Public khazis
Answer: All three!
So how did you do?
0 - 4 correct answers - That Bloody Awful Noel
5 - 8 correct answers - Christopher Biggins
9 - 12 correct answers - Me!!!!
And don't forget, if you want more good quizzing for Christmas there's still time to rush out and buy The Prince of Wales Quiz Book by my old chum and quizmaster extraordinaire Marcus Berkmann. A snip in paperback at £8.99! (Marcus - please send the Krug to the usual address).