Sunday, December 16, 2007

Royal Choke

Just back from one of our local Thorley Taverns after a night with some of my millionaire chums, and I must say the atmosphere was pretty rancid. One fat fellow at the end of the bar appeared to have a problem with his bowels, and was guffing like an elephant most of the night, much to the amusement of his boneheaded chums.

Call me old fashioned, but I for one found the waft of tobacco smoke before the ban infinitely preferable to the malodorous concoction of lavatory smells, BO and unwashed nether regions that we have to put up with these days. And now that our Frank, who was moaning in the Gazunder this week about a current downturn in trade, is saving money by turning off his air conditioning, I'll be certain to take the precaution of donning an NBC suit before entering one of his establishments again!
Must-have gear for a visit to your local Thorley Tavern

13 comments:

Lucy Mail said...

I tried out The Sovereign over the weekend and can't say that I was too impressed.
Before I even got to the bar, a middle aged, frumpy looking, quite pissed woman came over and asked me if I wanted to dance.
Sooner or later the police are going to have to cart me away!

Eastcliff Richard said...

I tried the Sovereign again last night, but somehow the shine had worn off now that the lavvies have been thoroughly, er, christened and I was paying for myself.

cassoulet said...

Don't joke about NBC suits. I always found my nose started running and I needeeeeeed to go to have a piss 30 seconds after being shut into one of the things. You find out who are your friends are when being helped out of the suit.

Anonymous said...

Poor Frank. Reporting less cash flowing through the business.

got to check back through previous threads because I feel this sort of thing got a mention before ?

Ramsgate Dave said...

Pubs ain't what they used to be. Oh for the old days. Hennekeys - No juke box, no one armed bandits, no singing, whistling or dancing. Barred if you carried out any of these. Bar staff standing 2 feet behind the bar always addressing the customers as Sir or Madam. The joy of sitting in a booth sipping a pint of Scrumpy Cider at a price that everyone could afford.

The only excitement being when Albert "Bomber" Webb tried to get served and it would take at least 3 of the boys in blue to eject him.

Anonymous said...

You should be pretty easy to spot if you do a pub crawl in one of those suits!! I'll say hello if I see you!

old timer said...

The young twerps who stand around bars these days do not seem to understand the the golden rule of 'spill my pint, buy me another'. They are all so drunk they can barely co-ordinate themselves so getting your drinks away from the bar without most of them going on the carpet is impossible and the whole thing is more like It's a Knockout than an enjoyable evening out. In the old days they would have got their heads kicked in but try explaining that to the moronic bouncers round here.

Anonymous said...

I admire Thorley as a businessman. His pubs are generally pleasant places to drink and he has saved a lot of old buildings that would have been left to rot but of course not for altruistic reasons. However I do feel that his grip on Thanet has led to higher pub prices and a night out in Thanet is now often more expensive than a night out in London. Go to some other provincial parts and you will find beer a lot cheaper.

Anonymous said...

I think Frank needs to tighten up his staff on under-age drinkers and ensure his excellently promoted publicity with Kent Police on the subject is actually enforced!
Perhaps a majority of youngsters in Thanet drink in his establishments and why not but when a local head teacher says that his staff will find Year 10 and Year 11 pupils in establishments drinking alcohol on a Friday or Saturday night then under-age drinking which can be diificult to control needs to be tightened up on in Thanet. Its not just the little local shop that is guilty here of unwittingly aiding under-age drinkers. TDC would be better getting schools staff to do a trawl through pubs with Police and TDC officers rather than trying to catch out smokers!

Anonymous said...

Frank is very good at playing the game why do you think it was Harpers in Broadstairs that lost it's licence and not one of his establishments?

Anonymous said...

Why can't they open some "teens only" pubs and leave us oldies some of our own?

Lucy Mail said...

Honestly, anonymous of 11-04, what a lot of selfish, mis-informed twaddle!
Personally, I've been drinking in pubs since I was a snip of a lass at fifteen, and I feel it gave me good insight for incorporating myself seamlessly into pub society.
And I'm sure you're well aware that it's a persons character and not so much their age, which causes problems in the pub.
As it happens, just a few months ago, while being escorted from The York Arms by the police, one of them commented on what a 'model citizen' I am. And this is despite the fact that I started my pub career at an early age, blowing your argument out of the water, I think!
Though if I were to be honest, I couldn't help but note a hint of irony in the flatfoot's voice, when he said it.
So, in summary, it's ok for someone to start a family at sixteen, or risk life and limb at the handlebars of a seriously underpowered vehicle, but not to drink in a pub?
Piffle!

Anonymous said...

Lucy, I personally don't mind underage drinkers having a good time despite breaking the licensing laws but I cannot stand sanctimonious hippocrites saying one thing in the paper whilst a blind eye is turned elsewhere. I suspect that Thanet's Boys in Blue would prefer youngsters to be supervised in pubs and clubs than hang around on street corners!