My interior designer, Charlie Chuckles, has been here all morning, re-painting the lounge room whilst cheerily whistling 'Springtime For Hitler' from The Producers.
He knows all the stars - Brucie, Tarbie, Corbie - and even claims his brother-in-law discovered Chaz and Dave.
I thought I could jaw, but blimey! And it's all becoming rather uncomfortably surreal. Apparently he revamped the Westcliff Pool buildings 30 years ago, and put 18 monkeys in them.
"I get all sorts of calls from people with sick chimpanzees, and I ask, 'What are you feeding them on?'. They say 'Fruit'. Well that's your problem there, isn't it! Chimpanzees eat MEAT!"
4 comments:
Firstly, chimpanzees do NOT eat meat (unless you hide it in a piece of fruit)!
Secondly, Der Fuehrer did not say 'baby'!
And he was a better painter than Churchill. And Charlie Chuckles, it would seem.
By the way, Charlie insists that chimpanzees do eat meat, and will take your arm off and chew on that if you're not careful.
Whilst I'm loath to admit it, he may have a point, as I recall seeing one of those nature programmes recently about a pack of cannibal chimps, many of whom, having found TV stardom, subsequently moved to Ramsgate and can now be found drinking in some of our less salubrious establishments.
Gorillas, on the other hand, are pussycats, apparently.
I've seen the Gorillas working on the doors of our less salubrious establishments.
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