FROM THE OFFICE OF SIR ROGER DE COURCEY (AND NOOKIE) (AGAIN) (WHO DOES HE THINK I AM, HIS BLOODY PA?) (PERSONAL ASSISTANT)

Mr Richard Eastcliff has asked us to make it clear that the BBC is making a big mistake letting a 'knob-knuckles' like That Bloody Awful Noel back on BBC1.

Mr Eastcliff would also like to make it clear that a much better presenter and entertainer is available, at considerably lower cost to the Corporation, even though said presenter and entertainer currently possesses limited dexterity due to painfully crippled hands. Mr Eastcliff would finally like to point out that that never stopped Jeremy Beadle.