FROM THE OFFICE OF SIR ROGER DE COURCEY (AND NOOKIE) (AGAIN)

Mr Richard Eastcliff has asked us to issue another statement on his behalf:

"Flaming bogies! They don't tell you that the worst thing about having your hands bandaged is not being able to pick your nose! I'll have to get one of the nurses to do it for me later.

"On a more high brow note, I've now come to a decision regarding the winner of the first Eastcliff Richard Annual Joke Week. The prize of a gleaming, brand spanking new Bentley Continental Flying Toss goes to none other than.....

"Mr X! For his excellent: 'Whats pink & wrinkly & hangs out your trousers?? Your mum!!'

"Also, Mr X being Mr X, I think I'm pretty safe in the knowledge that he'll never reveal his true identity, and therefore I probably won't have to cough up for the prize.

"Anyway, moustache, as the nurse has just come back, and I need to talk to her about some Rich pickings!"