It's the silly season, when traditionally the newspapers, even the 'alternative newspapers', are so desperate to fill space that they'll print anything.
So, as there's not much happening in Blogland, and as everyone's having a 'Week' at the moment, I think now's the time to inaugurate the first Eastcliff Richard Annual Joke Week.
The idea's simple. All you have to do to win a superb, new Bentley Continental Flying Toss* is tell us the worst joke you've ever heard.
To get the ball rolling, here's a few starters for ten:
Corduroy pillows are the next big thing - they're set to make headlines!
A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he says.
A man says to a waiter in a Chinese restaurant: "Waiter, this chicken's rubbery." "Ah, thank you velly much, sir," comes the reply.
You get the picture. Now do your worst!
*Bentley Continental Flying Toss supplied by Corgi of Luton.
21 comments:
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
How many good catholic girls can you get to have sex with you in a church?
Nun.
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff!
No, go on, make them up if you like.
What do you call a man with a wooden head?
Edwood.
What do you call a man with three wooden heads?
Edwood Woodwood.
How many film directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
I don't know, what do you think?
They're going to build 40,000 houses at Westwood.
What's the difference between an offshore Turner Centre and an onshore Turner Centre?
a) About 40 million quid?
b) One's a Turner Centre and the other's a hotel?
c) Nothing, neither are going to be built?
How many Turner paintings do you get in a Turner Centre?
None.
David Cameron.
On second thoughts it may be this surgical truss I'm wearing.
I'm going to Heathrow tomorrow.
Whats pink & wrinkly & hangs out your trousers??
Your mum!!
'MR X'
What's black and white and red all over?
A zebra crossing with a dead pedestrian on it.
Councillor Latchford re-elected
What's long, hard and full of seamen?
A submarine.
Damn, that doesn't really work when you write it out, does it?
What fish don't swim?
Dead ones.
The flying doctor.
How many councillors does it take to get the lightbulbs in the Harbour Arches changed?
That's not a joke.
TDC Planning Department
T.D.C Housing Policy
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