Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Outed

I see that one of the local 'newspapers' is calling for an end to my 'poison blog entry', and is appealing to readers to grass me up.

I must say, if I have caused any unintended offence with my musings about Ramsgate, or, indeed, the rest of the area, I apologise unreservedly. Furthermore, if any of the elevated personages I have mentioned on these pages feels aggrieved or hard done by, let me say that nothing I have written was meant to be taken personally. I am merely guilty of attempting to amuse my many readers.

As to my real identity, which has been much debated, I can now reveal that I am in fact the late President Richard Millhouse Nixon. Following my death in 1994, I was secretly put into cryogenic suspension by the CIA, and shipped to a warehouse round the back of Ramsgate Harbour. Unfortunately, due to an electrical fault, I thawed out at the end of last year, and now walk among you.

Now, when are the local elections?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear you're so poorly, but never mind, I'm sure it won't last long. Keep taking the tablets.

I wish you a speedy recovery. Get well soon. I need you to cheer me up because the Local Council are beyond being amusing any more.

Eastcliff Richard said...

Many thanks for your good wishes, and remember that the council are merely, as my old friend Chairman Mao used to say, imperialist rabbits running scared before the Fox of the People.

At least I think that's what he used to say, but my hearing aid was on the fritz at the time. It might have been "bung me the salt and I'll have a couple of those spring rolls".

I'm 93, you know.

David Green said...

Keep up the good work, Eastcliff needs your vast political experience and the inward investment of millionaires like you. Mr Thorley has carried the burden far too long.

sfdretywu said...

Absolute rubbish!!! Much as I hate to pull you up so haltingly, I feel I must make something quite clear to all of your readers, as I feel you are sucking them in a little too dangerously deep with your fabrications! NO PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES HAS EVER (with the exception of their current one every time he makes a speech) DIED!!! The reason they dissapear from the limelight is because they are only allowed to serve in office for a maximum of eight years. Doesn't everyone know this?
On a lighter note, congratulations to you for surpassing your octagenerious period. A privilege that few enjoy! In three years, you yourself will be able to 'drive how the f*ck you like'. For my own part, having just turned 7, I will have to wait for another eighty nine years! Will there still be cars at this time or will I be flying recklessly around the ether (virtually)? Anyone care to prognost?

RamSkateRaider.