With all the seagulls round here, it won't take long for this chicken flu thing to take hold and wipe out much of the population. Fortunately us Ramsgate millionaires have been secretly hoarding Tamiflu for the past year, and will probably be alright.
That didn't prevent poor Angela, though, from collapsing in tears when she returned to her gleaming black Cayenne, after popping up from Barnes for afternoon tea today. Some seabird, which I can only imagine had been scavenging senna pods out of one of the many bin bags that festoon our road, had turned her new 4x4 into what looked like a negative of a Dalmatian.
We had to rush the poor woman to the nearest car wash for emergency treatment.