Saturday, March 25, 2006

Light Relief

Looking out from my study here on the fashionable Eastcliff of Ramsgate, my view of the English Channel, glimmering in the morning sun, would be perfect, were it not marred by a forest of redundant street lamps. Consequently, I find my thoughts turning yet again to our elected representatives in general, and our local councillor David Green in particular.

Councillor Green is known in the area as 'The Incredible Hulk' for his heroic propensity to snort and rip the shirt off his back every time he comes across a vehicle with an out of date tax disc, a carelessly deposited barker's nest, or a council official flogging off yet another historic piece of municipal real estate.

It is comforting to know that it will surely only be a matter of time before he turns his superpowers on the daftly dualled street lights along the otherwise beautiful, cliff top Victoria Parade, and crushes the redundant posts with a single blow of his mighty, muscly, viridescent arm.

In the meantime, I shall continue my practice of placing Fortnums cheese platters on top of the nearest lamp post by means of a fishing rod dangling from the third floor bedroom window. The hope is that the weight of flying poodles which the comestibles attract will eventually send the offending street furniture toppling into the sea below.

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