Dreamedupland

I might have had rather too many sherbets with Elton yesterday lunchtime, as I could have sworn I saw an item here last night apologising for the rude comments I made earlier in the week about Margate's beloved Dreamland. I must have accidentally deleted it, careless me.

In a further outburst of public spiritedness, I am today announcing the Eastcliff Richard Competition To Find Something To Do With Dreamland (not a very snappy title, I'm afraid).

Ideas will be considered in two categories: Rides and Attractions, and what to do with the Dreamland site as a whole.

In the rides and attractions category we've already had the following entries:

- Hamster juggling
- The 'You Looking At Me Or What?' Hall of Mirrors
- The Rickety Rockety Rollercoaster (years of neglect guaranteed)

In the competition to find a suitable, alternative use for the site, we've so far had:

- Seafood Centre/Skate Park (presumably fish other than skate will also be eaten/exhibited)
- Dreadland (Convention and Conference Centre for Local Rastafarians)
- Schemeland (Convention and Conference Centre for Local Politicians)
- Arsonworld (my own favourite)

The competition will be judged by myself and Elton, our decisions will be final. The closing date for entries is Friday 31st March.

The two lucky winners will receive gold-plated barkers' nests, plucked from the very pavement in front of my luxury, cliff-top mansion, here on the East Cliff of Ramsgate, the Millionaires' Playground.