Well, after a jolly old think, I finally decided to return to our septic isle and am currently sitting here in my cliff top mansion, freezing my butt off. As a, er, sensible financial precaution I turned the heating off before my trip down under, not expecting a second ice age to descend and transform the place into Santa's grotto. Brrrr!
In fact I should really say 'butts', as being crammed into an economy class seat for 24 hours has had the effect of drawing a horizontal line across my arse cheeks, giving the old Eastcliff derriere a curious, four-buttocked profile not unlike the the rear view of one of those track-suited Margate mums who's made the mistake of cramming her size 20 behind into a pair of size 12 panties. A sort of hot, cross bum if you like.
For the next few days I'll be chillaxing and catching up on the latest Thanet goss. One piece of news that has already caught my eye is the start of a new, online Thanet TV station. Apparently they've been handed £100,000 worth of taxpayers sovs on the basis that they'll be getting unemployed youngsters to post videos on BoobTube. The words 'money', 'old' and 'rope' spring to mind. And their qualifications for this largesse? Well, leading light Rachel Saint runs something called 'Busy Mummy', which helps young mums.
It's left me pondering how much someone (moi) who has actually worked in grown-up television might expect for popping in an application and ticking a few boxes. It's got to be worth half a mill, surely? I think all my financial problems may just have been solved. Ker-ching!
Click here to read Thanet TV story on the Gazunder website