Turn On, Tune In, Drop Off

Yikes! According to yesterday's excellent Kent On Sunday, your taxpayer funded Kent TV has failed to meet its visitor targets in the first eight months since its launch.

Despite enjoying a hefty £1.6m subsidy, the station only attracted just over 20,000 visitors in March, well down on its 50,000 target. And considerably down, I might add, on my latest contribution to ECR TV, which got 30,000 hits in the space of a few days - and at absolutely no cost to you! The Kent County Council channel, which is run by Sir Gob's Ten Alps production company, was also projected to make £260,000 in advertising and sponsorship in its second year, but so far has only picked up a woeful £10,000.

KCC's opposition Labour group says it is becoming increasingly concerned that 'the protestations of political even-handedness are being slowly eroded with certain prospective parliamentary candidates being given preferential billing, while the local election coverage has been cleverly unbalanced.' Which was dismissed, rather arrogantly if you ask me, by a Ten Alps spokeswoman as 'playground party politics'.

Still, you have to read the story with more than a modicum of sodium chloride, since Kent On Sunday is owned by KOS Media, which in turn produces rival yourKentTV, where a viewing figure of more than 20 is a cause for celebration and treble gin and tonics all round!

Collision Course

As regular readers will recall, my finances aren't exactly flush at the moment. Not wishing to be a burden on the state any longer than I can help it, I was flicking through the jobs pages in Kent on Sunday when this caught my eye:

Freelance and full-time sub-editors required. Just the ticket! What qualifications do I need? 'Excellent QuarkXpress skills' - tick. 'Competent at using Photoshop' - tick. 'Able to spot a a typo at 100 paces'...

When do I start?

New Paper

It's here - the very first edition of your super, soaraway yourthanet! I picked this up from a pile in the corner of the corner shop this morning. Published by those nice people at Kent on Sunday, yourthanet imaginatively styles itself The newspaper for Margate, Ramsgate, Broadstairs and district.

As you can see, the front page splashes drooping fortunes at Pfizer, our local Viagra manufacturer, whose lead has definitely fallen out of its pencil. Mind you, the writing was already on that particular wall back in December. The paper's nicely laid out, with the usual KOS mix of style, celebrity, and a little bit of news thrown in. There's even a 'mystery blogger' who does a passable but ultimately unconvincing imitation of yours truly. All wrapped around the meat in the sandwich - reams and reams of ads for property and cars.

My old mate Frank appears to be a big fan, judging by the number of pages he's taken out. In fact local bigwigs have flocked to congratulate KOS on the launch. Among the twittering stars in Thanet's firmament to append their best wishes are Sir Roger Wind, Dr Steve Ladychap, and our glorious council leader Sandy Beach, who, with no sense of irony whatsoever, given the story on page 5 which details Margate traders at their wits' ends over the closure of the Dreamland cinema ('There's nothing left here'), kicks off his spiel with: 'People and businesses are upbeat and they talk about the opportunities that are available.' Constant plugs, too, for yourkenttv, a pallid version of my own ECR TV surrounded by annoying ads.

Oh well, it's bound to be ludicrously lucrative, and will certainly give Sadscene a run for its money, if not the Gazunder itself. Now, all I need is a silly name for it. Anyone for yawnthanet?

Update: Kent County Council's TV offering, due to launch on 21st September courtesy of 1.6m of your council tax pounds, is now running a promo on its website. Typically for a made in Maidstone production, their opening gambit is: 'Kent TV, coming soon from Maidstone, Canterbury, Faversham, Tunbridge Wells, Dover, Whitstable!' Not a dickie bird about the 127,000 souls who live in Kent's East End.

Honestly, next time my council tax demand arrives, I'm seriously contemplating posting the cheque to Lille.

TV Winners

Kent on Sunday (on Saturday) are splashing their new Kent TV service all over the front page today, urging readers to send in clips ahead of the launch of their BoobTube-alike platform for Kent next month. 500 smackers are on offer for the best entry, which, they say, could encompass anything from 'a great day out' to, er, 'Morris dancing'.

Don't knock it, though, as they're well ahead of KCC TV, of whom we hear, well, um, nothing, despite hundreds of thousands of our tax sovs being ploughed into it. Of course, both channels have been well and truly trumped by my own ECR TV, which has been serving the Thanet nation since March. No pesky propaganda, no annoying ads, just pure entertainment!

TV Or Not TV?

I've received an email from those nice people at Kent on Sunday asking me if I'd like to upload my ECR TV films onto their new TV on demand site. Here's what they say:

I am contacting you from KOS Media, the company which publishes the newspapers Kent on Sunday and Saturday Observer, and the website www.kentnews.co.uk. We are currently expanding our services to the people of Kent, with a new series of local newspapers and websites.

We are also launching a unique online TV on demand service featuring video material created by both our reporting staff and members of the community who wish to upload material. We are confident in attracting a large Kent-based audience to our new sites, and we are keen to share the material you have posted on YouTube with our viewers.

We are writing to ask your permission to upload your Thanet films onto our site, and to share it with the hundreds of thousands of people who are regular readers of our publications.

It's left me wondering why Kent County Council should line Saint Bob's already bloated pockets with our taxes to produce KCC TV, when a commercial organisation like KOS Media can provide a community 'television' service for Kent that's effectively free. Answers on a video postcard please.