Here's this week's East of the Wantsum. A fitting tribute to Our Glorious ex-Leader, methinks!
Skipping through the Gazunder moments before it became lining for Bertie's litter tray just now, a couple of items caught my eye. 'Deal makes port wind farm base' was one of them. And there was me thinking that London Array was going to be based in Ramsgate. No, wait, it is going to be based in Ramsgate. Apparently London Array's HQ will have a 'glass roof'. Er, no. It will in fact have one of those environmentally friendly, cuddly-duddly grass roofs. But hey-ho, it's only a newspaper.
Further in we read about poor, beknighted Boredstares greengrocer John Prentis, who's been served a noise abatement order by Thanet Council after complaints about his loud 6am fruit deliveries. The notice was served last December, and he's failed to comply, but only now does he see fit to make a whining noise in the local paper. 'Fifteen years we have been trading here and there have been no complaints,' moans John. 'A lot of people are afraid we will be leaving town because we can't trade without our delivery. The way things are going there will be no small businesses left in Broadstairs.' Yeah yeah.
I can't help feeling there's another side to this story that the Gazette's newshound hasn't bothered investigating. I mean, surely all he has to do to comply is make his deliveries, er, quietly? Or could it be that he's got the arse because a DFL has gone to a lot of effort and expense to open a beautiful boutique B&B next door, and may not want her guests woken up by some loudmouthed oiks offloading narnas at the crack of sparrow's fart?